Snooki and JWoww Begin Their Reign of Terror in Jersey City

Photo Boy / February 28, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy

Ok, that headline may be a tad dramatic. Although, having seen far more episodes of Jersey Shore than any self-respecting person should ever admit to (this is a direct result of sharing a house with a person with a vagina), I can use these shots of Snooki and JWoww’s new spinoff show to explain exactly what goes down in each episode. Now, I know right off the bat you’re saying to yourself ‘Well that’s easy, someone gets herpes.’ To which I reply, yes of course, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Any good reality TV producer knows that you don’t just skip right to the disease-spreading casual sex.

Scene One: Our main subjects, Snooki and JWoww, are forced into sunlight where they walk around like zombie strippers.
Scene Two: S & J pretend to perform what is essentially a normal activity of functioning adults with an absurd level of difficulty. Something like, oh I don’t know buying stuff at a store and putting that stuff in a car.
Scene Three: S & J drive off in this, get ready for 6 hours to go the club for just long enough to flash their fake tits around and take a piss anywhere but the bathroom.

“You can just send my Emmy directly to Hell, we’re having our annual conference there.” – MTV Producer

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News, Splash News