Snooki and JWoww Begin Their Reign of Terror in Jersey City

February 28th, 2012 // 49 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Ok, that headline may be a tad dramatic. Although, having seen far more episodes of Jersey Shore than any self-respecting person should ever admit to (this is a direct result of sharing a house with a person with a vagina), I can use these shots of Snooki and JWoww‘s new spinoff show to explain exactly what goes down in each episode. Now, I know right off the bat you’re saying to yourself ‘Well that’s easy, someone gets herpes.’ To which I reply, yes of course, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Any good reality TV producer knows that you don’t just skip right to the disease-spreading casual sex.

Scene One: Our main subjects, Snooki and JWoww, are forced into sunlight where they walk around like zombie strippers.
Scene Two: S & J pretend to perform what is essentially a normal activity of functioning adults with an absurd level of difficulty. Something like, oh I don’t know buying stuff at a store and putting that stuff in a car.
Scene Three: S & J drive off in this, get ready for 6 hours to go the club for just long enough to flash their fake tits around and take a piss anywhere but the bathroom.

“You can just send my Emmy directly to Hell, we’re having our annual conference there.” – MTV Producer

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. So I guess the terrorists have won.

  2. Die already...

    Why anyone gives a crap about these 2 ugly mutts is beyond me…

  3. Cock Dr

    If ya’ll keep watching their shit they keep making more shit. It’s an easy equation.

    • Anon

      It doesn’t work. I don’t watch any of their shit and they are still on the air. Hell, now it looks like they are making another show I’ll never watch.

  4. Snooki JWoww
    E. Fudd
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, that is truly ghetto.

  5. Snooki JWoww
    Fred Garvin
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell Cheetos.

  6. Snooki JWoww
    ayo
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s the first time ever that the sight of her ass didn’t make me run away screaming, wilding flailing my arms in the air screaming obscenities that the world is coming to an end. and i bet you think i’m joking.

  7. Snooki JWoww
    megan
    Commented on this photo:

    holy cow, she really is short!

  8. Snooki JWoww
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold, the harbinger of the end times. Look upon it and weep.

  9. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t that have “Farm Use” sprayed on the side? That’s what all the farm trucks that hauled livestock had where I grew up.

  10. Snooki JWoww
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you know what’s awesome about Snooki filming in Jersey? Coats, pants, sweaters, etc.

  11. EricLr

    MTV is already 90% “Girls having catty conversations over lunch.” This should push it close to 100%.

  12. Snooki JWoww
    vandinz
    Commented on this photo:

    That is fuckin UGLY! Suits her.

  13. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    Hilarious! They’re just like you and me! After a frontal lobotomy.

  14. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Al Qaeda,

    You know what you have to do.

  15. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    I love that it looks like it was done with spray paint.

  16. JC

    Snooki and JWoww: Making Jersey City a Little Worse. (Which is quite an accomplishment.)

  17. Snooki JWoww
    tiny
    Commented on this photo:

    UHH, I shouldn’t have had that burrito.

  18. cc

    I was really hoping they’d film this in Camden so they could make a contribution to Camden’s crime stats (as victims).

  19. El Jefe

    The original show is retarded and amazingly they still find numerous retards to watch it, how retarded is this one going to be?

    Jesus.

    • EricLr

      “how retarded is this one going to be?”

      MTV hired a guy to remind them to breathe.

      • Remember how we all thought vacuous whore couples couldn’t get any worse than Spencer and Heidi, and then along come Courtney “(Not) Sweet (not) Sixteen” Stodden and Dougie Boy? I grimly observe that, somehow, it’s all getting worse. My only hope is that MTV will eventually go full snuff film and these two will beat each other to death with hair-dryers. Or those purses.

  20. Snooki JWoww
    Hadley
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like their ride is as classy amd understated as they are…

  21. Snooki JWoww
    ThisOneGuy
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is dressing them? They look ridiculous.

  22. Ebear

    God they both look like shit. So so fug.

  23. Snooki JWoww
    Daver
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Danny Devito in drag.

  24. Parker

    I love how they just slut-chalantly shove that Pathmark shopping cart into their whore-valanche.

    I still want to pork JWoww up the ass though.

  25. Snooki JWoww
    ri
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like it could be a scene out of “Pootie Tang 2″

  26. Snooki JWoww
    Zed
    Commented on this photo:

    Preparing for her future…

  27. Snooki JWoww
    Jonas Grumby
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, that’s enough Valtrex, Vagisil, and condoms to get us through the week.”

  28. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    All the animals come out at night—whores, skunk pussies, whores, drama queens, whores, dopers, whores. Sick, venereal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.

  29. forrest

    believe it or not: THEY BOILED THEIR NEIGHBOUR’S CAT……..

  30. Snooki JWoww
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    In every photo like of Snookie and JWoww like this, is an insecure obese girl in the background capturing an image to make her feel better about herself for all eternity.

  31. Snooki JWoww
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    No, you idiot. That’s not where you put the cart when you’re done with it.

  32. Snooki JWoww
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn crabs done migrated to my head…”

  33. Blech

    Clearly they hate Jersey City– hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, good.

  34. terry

    Those two women just disgust me.

  35. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this is technically known as “foreshadowing”.

  36. Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a black Escalade with a Matte finish? Oh man oh man Oh Man, I don’t even know what to say.

  37. Snooki JWoww
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    i work in Jersey City. If I see this thing rolling around, I will do right by everyone on here.

  38. Snooki JWoww
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    “gonna catch me ridin’ dirty…”

  39. Snooki JWoww
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Like my outfit people??? it was all on the sale rack

  40. Snooki JWoww
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry snooki, with or without glasses your still a short fat pig whore….

  41. Snooki JWoww
    Emily
    Commented on this photo:

    Umm, it seems that you had all your trim done but forgot to have the rest of your car painted. Shit looks like primer.

  42. Snooki JWoww
    Bella
    Commented on this photo:

    People do recgonize them. What you see on tv are pecies of what actually happened. They can edit a lot of stuff out. Plus, they have a lot of security around them when they are in the club. There are youtube videos of them actually being filmed (not the tv show). The reality is less dramatic than what you see on tv.

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