Sly Stallone loves testosterone, loves it!

January 24th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Sylvester Stallone denies ever using steroids but is all about human growth hormone. He used it to beef himself up to 209 pounds for his new Rambo movie. He goes on the record about HGH in the latest issue of Time, according to Page Six:

“HGH [human growth hormone] is nothing. Anyone who calls it a steroid is grossly misinformed,” Stallone says in the issue out tomorrow. “Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older. Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years, it will be over the counter.”

If you’ll excuse me, I need to build a time machine so I can roid out at CVS in the year 2018. I should be back after lunch to dominate your women. Tell them to dress sexy. Sort of like they’re auditioning for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels but more whoreish. If that’s even possible.

superficial

  1. Sampan Man

    What a goofy lookin’ WOP.

  2. 209 lbs is quite a bit when you’re 4’8″

  3. woodhorse

    The adventurous ones can get it over the counter now although I still prefer missionary style.

  4. Number 2, you made me laugh.

  5. EuroNeckPain

    Tht’s why his neck is so wide; when you see his profile, there is a straight line from his back to the top of his head

  6. Dumb shit

    Testosterone and GH are 2 different things.

  7. meh

    I’m still waiting for the shocking part of this story…

    I saw Sly on UFC last night (interviewed by douche Joe Rogan) and I’m still trying to figure out what he said. I’m also wondering who does the voice over for his roles. There is no recognizable words that come out of that guys mouth.

  8. Snarf

    And I love pizza! Who cares?!

    Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf!

  9. Dan Hackney

    And in other news…Sly Stallone’s penis has shrunk to the size of a pea.

  10. JJ

    Sly is misinformed (or lying…and gross). HGH is not testosterone…testosterone is, indeed, a steroid.

  11. meh

    I meant “there ARE no recognizable words…”…I’m ready for more entertaining news…

    I love pizza too!

  12. JJ

    Sly is misinformed (or lying…and gross). HGH is not testosterone…testosterone is, indeed, a steroid.

  13. p0nk

    if only it would have worked when he was injecting it directly into his penis, he could possibly have avoided the whole Napoleon Complex.

  14. Juaqin Ingles

    It doesn’t sound like he was confusing HGH with testosterone. And I think if women are taking Premarin and all that other shit that there’s nothing wrong with a man juicing a little.

  15. BlacKBanana

    Mmmmm, pizza. . . (aaauuuggghhhh)

  16. scattershot

    Sly is delusional. If he suddenly stopped taking HGH he would turn into Larry King. The only reason he admits to it is because he was caught sneaking tons of it into Australia. Anyone who has seen Rocky 1 and 2, can attest to the fact this guy did roids. I could care less what you do with your own body, but stop trying to deny the obvious.

  17. scattershot

    Sly is delusional. If he suddenly stopped taking HGH he would turn into Larry King. The only reason he admits to it is because he was caught sneaking tons of it into Australia. Anyone who has seen Rocky 1 and 2, can attest to the fact this guy did roids. I could care less what you do with your own body, but stop trying to deny the obvious.

  18. Bigheadmike

    Number 2 took my joke…..
    Blast you

  19. Bigheadmike

    His imdb site says hes 5’10″…
    Yea right and my wanky is a foot long……

  20. Auntie Kryst

    I could care less about his roid use, I just want spoiler news on his upcoming new installment of Rambo. Does he win in this one?

  21. #2 – Pinky, you just made me laugh on a quiet train.

    Next Sly will be extoling the medicinal benefits of shoe lifts.

  22. deaconjones

    Sly’s the man, he fucks models and lifts weights, and looks like that at 60

    Atta boy Sly!

  23. deaconjones

    @10
    Oh, and JJ, you dont know wtf you’re talking about, so just stop now

  24. @22 – spoken like a man with a small penis and lowercase letters.

  25. D. Richards (Denise.)

    Sly’s right. As a man gets older, his body starts to produce less and less testosterone. This is why men soften with age. This is not a good thing. Growing older is very bad for you.

    The remedy, and it’s an easy fix, is to get familiar with an older doctor, preferably a proctologist; maybe make-out with him a little, and have him shovel fistfuls of pilled testosterone in to your waiting arms.

  26. Ted from LA

    Translation of Sly’s interview:
    Yooo, rooiiidds noot HGH, I’m nmiyt kiffdin si sll. Zi miuvh mkuk ruwim meiht hy lathy. It’s eily hlolw odoe imym rihooy. Uithwla mikieii plkem wihmy uffefer.

    He is the only man in human history to have six pack abs and still look down and not be able to see his penis.

  27. Ndcart

    Seems to me there are too many people on here fascinated with his penis. :)

  28. peacemaker

    Sly’s compensating for a small penis due to being Italian, not steroids.

  29. snaz

    If Hgh makes you look that old then i won’t be taking it.

  30. sunny

    He looks good tho!

    I’d do him!

  31. Sauron

    That’s quite muscular language he’s talking.

  32. p0nk

    28 obviously not familiar with the legendary italian stallion. people used to mistake him for the washington monument when they visited baltimore. it’s a known fact that roids cause shrinkage.

  33. Ript1&0

    Damn Fish… that was hot. Kudos.

  34. Lowlands

    There’s a thin line of truth in what he’s saying.There’re a lot of potato heads who are ‘only’ in their late fifties but are behaving themselves like they’re over 80 years old.They’re polluting my view.Use some testerone you asholes!

  35. Sauron

    Maybe i’lI become finally easy rich.Is there something like a testostorone bank?I’m willing to give.

  36. Feel_the_velvet

    The use of these products calls into serious question the validity of his victories in Rocky 2, 3, 4, and any of the other ones. Congress should look into it and clean up the whole scene

  37. Sly

    Yo I aaaaaaahhm flerpdigilesdoo, ya knowz i means
    lippernarblippinspeel flabberstamperellinski. If’n I wuz ta be uzinin, H Gee H, whoz bizziness is it any ways, its not likes Im out flamscammerin tha fliznigerslans or nuttin, Ya know? Sees Rambo or I’ll kill youz.

  38. combustion8

    HGH is the same thing Bonds took, builds mass like a mofo… andro is good too, if you can find it, Superdrol… but if you dont take an estrogen blocker soon as your cycle ends you grow bitch tits.

  39. I love you too, Sly.

  40. Sauron

    I’m ‘only’ in my late 50000th years of age and still having plenty of tostesterone!?Humans are weak and pity.

  41. HollyJ

    His face looks like an English bulldog vulva during the heat cycle.

  42. PMS Queen

    Both Steroids and HGH give men a taste of what it’s like to gain some monthly water weight. We women gain this amount every mouth and we hate it, but some strange Rambo men want and pay the big bucks to be able to do this women thing. Very strange indeed. Water weight gain is only temporary, so I would really like to see how small and shriveled up he is when he is in HGH withdrawal mode. Not a pretty sight, I’m sure, and I don’t mean his Dick, which I’ve heard is shriveled up, too, from Janice Dickinson.

  43. combustion8

    HGH doesnt just create water weight… it creates more muscle tissue which in turn creates more mass… the water weight is very minimal.

  44. Fetus (non-breast fed)

    (Poor girl is desperate. No tits no ass gaping camel tow no hair! Our little lady is a willing guinea pig. Oh Stallone would be the “Guinea” pig, sorry)

  45. dooder

    he looks better then any of you will look at 62. hell he looks better then any of you look now haha.

  46. pointandlaugh

    I was just gonna write what #45 wrote. Sly is in damn good shape for a man in his 60′s. Holy shit.

  47. Vulgar Display of Power

    Yeah talking all that shit behind a computer is pretty brave I must say. I’d like to see all of you say it to his face, and laugh while he smashes your face in. I heard that this site steals money from children. It’s how they make their money

    This site is home to the scum of the earth.

  48. Fetus Bull Dyke

    “Vulgar Display of Power?” she thinks all the while peeping and making sticky mouth noises. “I will bend your big sorry full grown ass over my uncut umbilical cord, you douche (man am I overdue, she muses)!
    “Want some of this, Bitch? We don’t fuck around here on this site punk!” squirts and squeels our little veiny heroine!

  49. KickRocks

    Personally, I use Taco Bell to beef myself up. It’s legal AND delicious. Legally Delicious!

  50. He is a man, but now he is single now??? I saw her profile with photos on a BBW dating site called plussingle.com. He is admirer?? or looking for a lover there??

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