Sly and Arnold Back Out of New Expendables Movie Because They’re Besties

Sylvester Stallone just walked out of the Expendables franchise and Arnold Schwarzenegger followed him claiming, “There is no Expendables without Sly. I would never do the movie without him, no.” Stallone didn’t even wave the leash by the front door to get him excited enough to come with. Now producers are talking about Jackie Chan and Johnny Knoxville because they want to incite an actual purge. Jokes on them though, only people in the Philippines give a shit about their franchise.

“The Expendables”, or as I like to call it Lemon Party With Guns, has earned $804 million worldwide as a franchise because people are stupid. Stallone is said to be walking away from a $20 million paycheck with Expendables 4, a franchise he co-created, due to disagreements with producer Avi Lerner.

We’ve got disagreements with Sly, but we’ve had them for over a year and a half. Right now each one has opinion. We agreed on 95% of things, but there are certain things in production we don’t agree on. I don’t think it’s over, but write whatever you want.

Write whatever I want? OK!

Arnold

“SLY!! HELP!! THEY’VE GOT ME!! ARRAGHAGGA!!”

sly writing

“Not gonna get me with that one again, pal… it worked last week, not gonna burn me again…”

The Venetian Macao 7th Anniversary Event Welcomes Expendables 3 Cast

“EEAGHAAGHAAH!!”

sly flip

“…”

arnold jk

“Were you scared? I was only joking around! Ah. Ah. Ah!”

sly flip

“…”