Simona Fusco Stratten still wearing a bikini

March 24th, 2008 // 118 Comments

Simona Fusco Stratten continued her Easter vacation in Hawaii by looking bikini-rific. You may remember her as “Hot Girl” on an episode of Entourage or, most likely, from my Happy Easter post. (I care enough to send the very best.) These are brand new shots from the weekend and she’s still wearing the same bikini. I guess they came with the breasts. Why I’m focusing on her bikini when I should be licking my monitor is beyond me. Mmm, non-ammonia-based cleanery. *looks around* Perhaps I shouldn’t have just done that in the middle of Starbucks. While sitting next to nuns who, son of a cock, have rulers. Must move slowly towards exit while protecting precious caffeine… They’re on to me! RUN!

Photos: Splash News

  1. I’ll be the FIRST! to make a wallet out of her ass skin.

  2. Rick

    It’s pretty difficult to fit that many stretch marks and that much cellulite onto relatively petite butt and thighs. Well done, Simona!

  3. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the tiny cellulite and flabby-milfyness.

  4. Ted Mosby

    I love how my wife looks so nice and clean.

  5. quackymd

    Nice try on your witty humor number 2 but now all you are is a douchebag.

  6. deacon jones

    Reminds me of my Ocean City, MD nights at Seacrets

    Who’s been there??? Heaven

  7. momo

    I would spew all over that

  8. Randal

    Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with wearing the same bikini, especially if it fits well and it seems to. There are things called washing machines, so it doesn’t mean it’s dirty if she happens to be wearing it again. No different than that favorite shit you wear — it looks good on you, ditto for the swim wear.

    I love her french manicured nails.

  9. Alright!


    You unsanctified piece of dried-up buttwurst. I don’t like to agree with you about anything. However, you are right. I don’t remember the last time I took multiple bathing suits on vacation.

    She’s cute. This is a universal truth. No heterosexual guy in his right mind says, “Nah, I think not.”

  10. @2 Troll, I think the boobs would make better wallets.. Just a thought..

  11. Auntie Kryst

    Great pics, they are definitely So Freaking Hot worthy. Fish, get rid of that dumbass Hulk picture. By Hulk I mean Scary Spice in a bikini.

  12. Champ

    Finally something nice to look at.

  13. quackymd

    OMG she’s so fucking fat. Get her lard ass to Jenny Craig. And udders like that belong on cows, so fucking disgusting! George Clooney’s woman is more like what a woman needs to try to look like, although she’s getting a porker belly too. At least she doesn’t have comical looking implants. Yeech!

  14. @14 Go stick your head back up your ass and shut up!!

  15. i think she was in the episode of Entourage where they guys need a date for the movie premiere.

  16. @16 Yes she was!!!

  17. quackymd

    @15 Just because you like your bitches fat like piggies doesn’t mean anyone else does. Shes a big fat greasy porker and fucking ridiculously hiding her gut and flab ass with stupid cow tits. Allow me to speak for the real guys who know this sow is GROSS. Gut to the knees, ass you could use as a pool tarp and more silicone than dow-corning uses in a year. UGLY.

    Get rid of the belly, get rid of the fatass and get rid of the tits! If she can’t squeeze through the gap left by the safety chain on my door, then the bitch doesn’t get into my bed. I want to see her damn bones to get my bone!

  18. Alright!

    #14. You are dumb.

    There. You wanted attention; You got it. I can’t think of another reason that you would type something so stupid.

  19. @18 Go fuck yourself you dumbass worthless pile of crap. There is not an ounce of fat on this chick and if you think there is, you are retarded..

  20. Alright!


    I’m sure “lots” of women are dying to get your bone. They are usually the inquisitive sort of women who want to know if you’ve got cash up front. I’m not saying that you have to pay for sex; it’s just the only way you’ll have it with more than one person involved.

  21. Alright!


    I’m sure “lots” of women are dying to get your bone. They are usually the inquisitive sort of women who want to know if you’ve got cash up front. I’m not saying that you have to pay for sex; it’s just the only way you’ll have it with more than one person involved.

  22. Alright!

    Damn…double post.

  23. @23 it was worth saying twice..

  24. TonightU

    #14 is right. She’s using the old trick of tanning super dark to distract from the cellulite ripples. And the fake tits mean she doesn’t even register on the radar, unless fake boobs and fake blonde is still somehow interesting in your view.

  25. nipolian

    #18 – You seem to be confused…… like little boys…….this is a woman (an incredibly hot one at that)……you need to Google “deranged pedophile seeking the love of boys under the age of 10″ and find a site more suited to your interests.

  26. BunnyButt

    Breast implants, pierced belly button, tanning bed tan … wait, where’s her tramp stamp??

  27. BishOP

    I’d tag that. I think this girl is fine–at least she doesn’t look like she’d snap in half. Nice to see someone different besides Psycho Spears, Pam Anderson and Heidi Montag.

  28. Rick

    Pam Anderson, and now this beat up lookin’ midget.

    There are literally thousands of better looking women. Let’s go, Fish, put ‘em on the glass!

  29. quackymd

    #22 – Yes I do love to masterbate, it took me a while to figure out how to do it right since my pee-pee is so small. I have learned that I can’t use my whole hand because I can’t get enough friction. I now use just my thumb and index finger and it works wonderfully.

  30. Andrew

    As usual we have our trolling extremes (“she’s fat and ugly” vs. “you must be gay if you don’t think she’s hot”). She’s actually…assembled. Add some parts (implants), remove some others (lipo), hammer a lot (workouts), and, ta-da, something that from a distance passes for hot but up close…nah. Juuuust missed. Next time try starting with a young good looking girl, that’s always a good idea.

  31. XavierH

    Maybe I’ve been married far too long, but this one is hot. No one’s commenting on the 25-33% nipple slip in pic #7? Also, if she’s been an extra on a cable show, once, does that qualify her as a celebrity? Not that I’m complaining.

  32. spinal

    Whoopdy doo, another fake-tittied, fake-tanned fake blonde average-looking whore. Who the fuck cares? And yes, I am a female and no, I am neither fat nor jealous. I’ll save my jealousy for naturally beautiful women like Natalie Portman. All this chick has going for her are two sacks of silicone, a bottle of peroxide and a Mystic Tan.

  33. Wanks


  34. rusty

    yeck. Stop showing me this liposuciton ho bag. Ooh wee, she got big ol’ boobies! Who gives a fuck? John Goodman does too and at least he was in the Big Lebowski. No thank you!

  35. Kuhkaykay

    Those are some horrible hair extensions.

  36. Kuhkaykay

    Those are some horrible hair extensions.

  37. Kuhkaykay

    Those are some horrible hair extensions.

  38. J. Piven

    I hear she likes a good spanking. Oh wait, I gave her one!!! It was like bathing in the land of milk and honey.

  39. combustion8

    I’ll pass on that flabby ass.

  40. costamar

    Also, bad nose job!!

  41. Patrick

    I still seriously want to play with those titties.

  42. Aussie

    I am surprised that you have not yet discovered her nip-slip pics….,geo=4088290.html

  43. Oh, come on ladies, Bunny , #33. – even the Grand Canyon has a bit of cleavage. They’re not necessarily fake…. …. ….
    Binky: Well ok. Now that you didn’t ask – Disneyland holiday was gr8. Ok. A little ‘Mickey Mouse’, as they say in the industry.
    (I’m still not sure what happened to Knee Ya Ha Ha. When we left for the holidaze – he was linkin’ and ‘almost mid September’ ‘binkin’ all over these threads.)
    Cliff Notes : I guess the Fish guy still wants a few ads Bink. Or it could be a cache/ cookie problem.
    Binky : Oh.
    ( Wish I’d checked back to see what happened)

  44. Idodialog

    er, who?

  45. Good point #45.
    And I see ‘The Fish’ have, like, ‘Pix-Elle-Lated’ (sp?) the little kid’s face here.

    (Oh. by the way. Like who exactly is this Fish-guy’s ‘Target Market’ as they say in the industry ?)
    ( Thought just came to me ..etc… nothing….)

  46. Loving the Haters

    I love how the haters are “representin’” cause she is so under their league. Let’s see how much hair and flab u guys got. That’s okay, you got yourself a chumby last week, so I guess that makes u WAY hotter! LOL

  47. Darth Hater

    Just another bleach blond Hollywood clone. Not the best ass but otherwise pretty hot. Fat? LOL no way.

    Look on the bright side…it’s not photos of Britney.

  48. look

    how do u guys know they are fake titties?????

  49. #49 Left tittie says to right one – “9/11 wasn’t an inside job”

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