Simon Cowell Knocked Up His Best Friend’s Wife

July 31st, 2013 // 32 Comments
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So Simon Cowell apparently knocked up Lauren Silverman the estranged, yet technically still married wife to Simon’s best friend Andrew Silverman. Because if there’s one thing the British love it’s the sweet tang of incest. “And rape!” says Jame Bond. “The sweet tang of rape. I say that in my first book. True story.” Us Weekly reports:

“She’s around 10 weeks along,” the insider shares. And that’s only part of the story.
Silverman, 36, is technically still married — to Cowell’s close friend Andrew Silverman, a real estate mogul in NYC. She plans to leave her estranged husband to be with the father of her child.
“Lauren and Andrew have been unhappy in their marriage for some time, and their divorce has been in the works for a while,” a source tells Us. “As their marriage deteriorated, she and Simon became close.”

Jesus. I don’t even know how I’d explain to my best friend that I put a baby in the vagina of a woman he hasn’t even divorced yet, but then again, I lack the means to fill a swimming pool full of cash and go, “So we good here?” Or do you save something like that for when there’s a body? This is why I don’t get invited to fancy dinners. There are so many rules.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mine. All mine. If I can see it with these binoculars, I shall own it. Oh, hello, best friend’s wife!”

  2. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Incubating Cowell’s spawn is probably worth a few million…..raising spawn is good for a few more.
    As a business decision you can’t fault her for getting into the Cowell seed incubation franchise.

  3. Will be the ugliest child on the planet

  4. Unsurprisingly, this is pretty much exactly what I expect a douchebag like Simon Cowell to do. He seems like the kind of asshole that would not only do this, but film them having sex in his best friend’s house, in his bed and send him the tape.

  5. Randy Poundersnooge

    Awkward.

  6. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    spareclownparts
    Commented on this photo:

    John Travolta removed his hairpiece?

  7. *SMH*

    Bros before Hos

  8. Smapdi

    Its just producer Cowell deeply inserting himself into his next television project, “American Cuckold”.

  9. The divorce was taking so long because of the pre-nup she signed. She was trying to get a better deal, but not as high as she had hoped. This way she has secured her income for the next 18 years.

    • Cowell, that was an assholean thing to do. You should have just jizzed in her mouth. Live and learn…
      On the other hand, I would have had a tough time resisting her myself. Fucking her must have been a wild ride!

  10. If a supposed friend was banging my ex and knocked her up, I wouldn’t be mad in the slightest. I’d think that was awesome karma…he gets to pay millions in child support? Fucking BEAUTIFUL!

  11. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um…Simon, I told you, I don’t want a drink. We have our 10 week ultrasound appointment tomorrow….”

    “…..”

  12. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, where’s your husband?”

    “Simon…..stop, he’s getting angry.”

    “oh, therrrre he is! Want to watch me wipe my ass with a thousand dollar bill?”

  13. Dilbert

    Huh. Same thing happened to me, minus the millions of dollars and such. I still hope that asshole dies of shark aids, and Simon can go with him. That’s fucking low.

  14. Charles

    This really isn’t that big a deal.
    You americans are just too uptight when it comes to sex.

  15. anonym

    If I were as rich as Simon, I would be a douchebag too.

  16. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha! That’s a good one! Simon Cowell has a friend…

  17. Simon Cowell looks like a 60 year old boxer who retired with a record of 3 wins, 164 loses, 137 of them by knockout. Oh yeah, and 1 draw (the other guy was drunk).

  18. pancit

    I was going to mock her for being a fucktoy for various rich men but then I realized its practically every woman’s dream.

  19. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    “I could have masturbated to some old Benny Hill episodes, but no… I had to fuck my best friends wife!”

  20. Who Cares

    Well if she’s untrustworthy enough to bang guys behind her husbands back the baby’s father could be anybody. And probably is. Don’t count out the cabin boy or the boy who carries her luggage. Cheaters rarely have one partner.

  21. Jen

    Clarification:

    Uterus, honey. He put a baby in the *uterus* “of a woman [his best friend] hasn’t even divorced yet.”

    Unless he DID put a baby in her vagina, which is, needless to say, kinky.

  22. Simon Cowell Knocked Up Best Friends Wife Lauren Silverman
    TWaits
    Commented on this photo:

    *Former* best friend.

  23. asdf

    ‘the sweet tang of incest’
    Incest? You don’t really know what words mean, do you?

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