Sia’s Sorry She Put Shia LaBeouf In A Cage With A Little Girl

“I’m about to have a twelve year-old’s crotch in my face, aren’t I? I’ve made a huge mistake.”

Posted by Photo Boy

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Shia LaBeouf did X, X was stupid and everyone went “Right, well, Shia LaBeouf is a crazy person, so…” This time’s a little different because old dirt beard just stuck his toe in the pedo pool, which is not a feature of Stephen Collins Malibu beach house. Yet. Because art is meant to evoke an emotional response, which in this case was “Ew, It’s gross when people dance almost naked with kids,” musician Sia cast Maddie Ziegler from Lifetime’s Dance Moms opposite the Beef in a steel cage dance-off that she knew would result in people vomiting in their throats.

 

Having watched the video several times (Fuck my brain, amirite?), I can confidently say there’s nothing in it that anyone should be offended by. If you really want to pick it apart, maybe point out the gratuitous pull-ups and push-ups that were totes integral to the performance, or the funny faces LaBeouf makes towards the end because he’s been basically naked in a cage with a little girl for hours and levity was probably the only saving grace for a film crew who at that point had to be saying “If he gets wood, I’m burning this whole building down.”

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