And, Great, Shia LaBeouf Just Retired. WHAT DID YOU ANIMALS DO?!

“Did you just say you directed A River Runs Through It?”
“Don’t stifle my art, Bob.”

Back in December, Shia LaBeouf was caught plagiarizing the shit out of Daniel Clowes’ graphic novel Justin M. Damiano for a short film Howard that Shia had been shopping to festivals for over a year. Since then, Shia has gone on a manic apology/plagiarizing/sky-writing spree that finally got his ass sued instead of being heralded for trying to turn the whole thing into performance art because he’s a creative ingenue. (I may have used that word wrong.) So since the world doesn’t appreciate Shia LaBeouf, Shia LaBeouf no longer appreciates the world and will deprive it of his art. Via Twitter:

In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity, I am retiring from all public life.
My love goes out to those who have supported me.

I’m at an impasse here because on the one hand, I don’t want to pretend this is anything more than a hissy fit for attention that means absolutely nothing. But on the other, I don’t want to rule out the possibility that Shia LaBeouf genuinely believes plagiarizing is legitimate creativity. So let’s meet in the middle and assume this is about Brad Pitt telling Shia to take a shower when he tried to go method. A man’s stank is his art, you swine!

Photo: Splash News