Shia LaBeouf Is Probably In Rehab

July 1st, 2014 // 11 Comments

Following his arrest Thursday night, and the string of crazy preceding it, X17online reports Shia LaBeouf has checked into rehab. (Although, Gossip Cop says that hasn’t happened yet but is probably coming soon.) And as much as I shit on Shia, I can’t even imagine what it’s like coping with the fact that one minute you’re Steven Spielberg‘s wunderkind with all the Megan Fox vagina that entails, and then next you’re chasing a homeless guy over a hat because you made porn with Lars Von Trier and went full James Franco. (Never go full Franco.) I’m pretty sure my mind would cleave itself in half, too, provided my head hadn’t already rocketed off my body the second Megan Fox touched my penis. On quiet nights, I like to imagine it reaching Jupiter, still yelling “Zowie wow wow boppity zip!” to the cosmos. *pours out 40* One love, Neil DG.

Photos: Courtesy of TMZ


  1. Shia LaBeouf Homeless Guy
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is so much more entertaining than anything I’ve ever seen him do during his former film career.

  2. Short Round

    This is just fuckin’ hilarious. If he was doing this on purpose he’d be the most awesome guy ever.

  3. Shia LaBeouf Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    wutta asshole.
    hope he enjoys being spit on for the cameras when hes the homeless person.

  4. You fucking mouth breathers wouldn’t understand ART if it shit directly onto your face.

  5. “Zowie wow wow boppity zip!”

  6. Shia LaBeouf Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s not publicise mental breakdowns, let’s instead rejoice in the final death throws of dignity. The

  7. Alcohol is just a symptom. He’s self-medicating, same as Amanda Bynes did with her incessant smoking of pot. Shia is suffering from some form of schizophrenia. Mark my words.

    Hope they diagnose him properly in rehab and that he begins the long road to recovery.

  8. mfbinc

    is he the jim morrison of the 2000′s?

  9. I never, ever thought I would say this in a million years. but I hope he actually gets help.

    Aughh what’s wrong with me?

  10. Shia LaBeouf Homeless Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is the homeless guy ?

Leave A Comment