Shia LaBeouf Moved His Stupid Art Protest To New Mexico
“He will not divide us! He will not divide us! I slept with Megan Fox once! He will…”
“Yeah! He will not di– Wait, what?”
When Shia LaBeouf’s ‘He Will Not Divide Us’ art project got shut down, it was clear that there was no stopping Trump. Sure, his cabinet is already failing before it’s even assembled, federal judges are bitchslapping his executive orders, and the intelligence community is about a half-step shy of publishing classified information on billboards that proves Russia was all up in those golden man panties. But without Shia LaBeouf chanting a meaningless phrase into a webcam all hope was lost. Until now. Via Albuquerque Journal:
LeBeouf and artists Nastja Säde Rönkkö and Luke Turner brought their live-stream “participatory performance artwork,” anti-Donald Trump protest to the Duke City after the initial staging of the performance at a New York City museum was shut down earlier this month.
Upon hearing the news that the star of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was still gunning for him, President Trump immediately resigned then shot Mike Pence and Paul Ryan in the face. Just kidding! He flew to Florida and had a party with a bunch of shit-kickers who probably just gone done flushing python babies down the toilet, because that’s our political reality in this country. Shia LaBeouf sniffing his own farts into a 24/7 web stream vs. Medicaid recipients chanting about small government. But this is all part of the beautiful process that is American democracy, right? After all, progress is like turning a cruise ship, and we just have to get these people to get on board with the direction we should be headed.
Welp. *deploys lifeboat, shoots hole in bottom*