Shia LaBeouf Opened A Dialog About Plagiarism, So Really We Should Be Thanking Him

January 22nd, 2014 // 33 Comments
Bar Fights Are Art
Shia LaBeouf
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“Hello, I’m Dr. Cornelius Pubebeard. Welcome to Artistic D-bagging 101.”

Because Shia LaBeouf can’t go five minutes without the digital equivalent of flailing his arms around and yelling, “Hey, hey, look at me! I arted!” he went on another Twitter tirade last night. Only this time instead of retiring, he did exactly what the entire Internet predicted he would do and tried to claim his recent behavior was simply performance art because he’s a creative mind pushing the boundaries of the American psyche, so really we should be thanking him for all the swell discussion he’s started, is what he’ll later literally say. Via HuffPost:

“Performance art has been a way of appealing directly to a large public, as well as shocking audiences into reassessing their own notions of art and its relation to culture,” the actor explained. “All art is either plagarisum [sic] or revolution & to be revolutionary in art today, is to be reactionary. In the midst of being embroiled in acts of intended plagiarism, the world caught me & I reacted. The show began. I became completely absorbed, oblivious to things around me.”

Conveniently, Shia never once mentions that he plagiarized Daniel Clowes‘ comic and was passing it around to festivals over a year ago, a fact that is currently going to get his ass sued to high heaven for, or the time he plagiarized an apology to Alec Baldwin. Both of which we’re just supposed to believe were performance de arte by a master innovator of ideas and conventional rigmarole which is probably why he deleted the whole thing. That, or even Shia LaBeouf couldn’t finish reading it without going, “What the fuck is this shit?” Fortunately, the Internet is Screencap Jesus, so you can see Shia’s fart-sniffing manifesto below then die from drowning in pure, unadulterated bullshit which is why I made Photo Boy read it first. *pokes his lifeless body* I should probably call an ambulance.

Shia LaBeouf Performance Art Rant Screencap

Shia LaBeouf Performance Art Rant Screencap

EDIT: Diligent commenters have pointed out that Shia cribbed huge pieces of his horseshit rant from here and more egregiously here. To which I say, how dare you restrain his beef genius?! Have at you!

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Joaquin Phoenix wrote this, probably.

  2. Jennyfurr

    Hideous, untalented jewsh.

  3. Hey, Shia, you know what else “is real,” “requires risk,” has a “manifestation that cannot be known in advance,” is “not for the intellectual,” does not “cater to an audience,” and “is designed to provoke”? Me and every other reader of the Superficial taking a shit on your doorstep.

  4. Jesus. What an asshole.

  5. coljack

    Even his career meltdown was cribbed from someone else. Remember Joaquin Phoenix’s rap career? The playbook looks like this: grow beard (check!), go crazy (double check!!), make a film (yep), disappear (almost!).

  6. anonymous

    I’d call Shia a dick but he acting more like an asshole.

  7. cmonreally

    “Berlin is a funeral.”

    What? Seriously, can someone explain that last line to me? I’ve tried looking it up to see if there was some significance between “Berlin is a funeral” and “plagiarism” and came up nothing.

    Or is it just some crack ramblings of a pissy child actor who wasn’t allowed to get away with whatever he wanted to do and now is lashing out against a world of bullies that won’t let him be (pseudo)great?

  8. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Lawless Screening
    StayPuft Overlord
    Commented on this photo:

    Fan: May I please have your autograph, Mr. Le Beouf?
    Pubebeard: Here you go.
    Fan: Why did you sign it James Franco?
    Pubebeard: Because I’m revolutionizing art outside of the box while shifting paradigms inside your reality. Your feeble mind can’t comprehend that now he and I are one. Shia James Franco LeBeouf Away!

  9. Dobbson

    He copied this from somewhere else too. Here’s at least part of it:

    http://cicac.tru.ca/media/performing-bateman.pdf

  10. Swearin

    I hope he and James Franco never, ever spend any significant length of time around each other, the universe might literally tear itself apart.

  11. Kath

    I give it another week and he will be headed for rehab..for exhaustion and some sort of stress…and blame everything on staying up too late and being overtired.

  12. Freebie

    He is one ugly guy

  13. Transformers. The fartiste needs some goddamn perspective.

  14. cc

    This depth and insight provided by Shia has lead me to reexamine my own life. Really, right now I am going to lie down and reconsider everything I’ve held to be true…immediately after I contemplate Candice Swanepoel’s ass for another few minutes.

  15. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Lawless Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    He kind of looks like one of those characters in “Team America”….kinda sorta……

  16. Ragnar

    Did he glue pubic hair to his face?

  17. Performance fart.

  18. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Lawless Screening
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Shia LaDouche…

  19. ytmb

    This is why I am against gun control. We need it to be very easy for Shia to get the help he needs and we deserve.

  20. Jen

    I just gave myself a headache from rolling my eyes so far back. Insufferable.

  21. it’s actually a pubestache and douchbeard

  22. Scotch Wichmann

    He plagiarized my performance art manifesto. Flattered.

    http://www.scotchwichmann.com/festo.php

  23. Shia LaBeouf Ponytail Beard Dane DeHaan Jessica Chastain Lawless Screening
    Jennyfurr
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Chastain and Shia Shitstain.

  24. Matthew

    he even plagiarized THIS. read toward the end of this performance artist’s manifesto: http://www.scotchwichmann.com/festo.php

    he blatantly copied the lines, “performance art is constantly rejecting its own conventions” and “performance art decays instantly and is unrepeatable” from Section 4. Corollaries

    shia STOP blowing yourself up!

  25. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    My first glimpse ever of Dane DeHaan. Christ, did someone clone Leo DiCaprio?

  26. This all seems like a lot more work than just actually apologizing and paying the damages.

  27. Why is it so hard to just shut up….

  28. Fairly sure he meant to say “Fiddling Fucksticks.”

  29. thetruth

    His beard does appear to be a Jackass stunt.

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