“Hello, I’m Dr. Cornelius Pubebeard. Welcome to Artistic D-bagging 101.”
Because Shia LaBeouf can’t go five minutes without the digital equivalent of flailing his arms around and yelling, “Hey, hey, look at me! I arted!” he went on another Twitter tirade last night. Only this time instead of retiring, he did exactly what the entire Internet predicted he would do and tried to claim his recent behavior was simply performance art because he’s a creative mind pushing the boundaries of the American psyche, so really we should be thanking him for all the swell discussion he’s started, is what he’ll later literally say. Via HuffPost:
“Performance art has been a way of appealing directly to a large public, as well as shocking audiences into reassessing their own notions of art and its relation to culture,” the actor explained. “All art is either plagarisum [sic] or revolution & to be revolutionary in art today, is to be reactionary. In the midst of being embroiled in acts of intended plagiarism, the world caught me & I reacted. The show began. I became completely absorbed, oblivious to things around me.”
Conveniently, Shia never once mentions that he plagiarized Daniel Clowes‘ comic and was passing it around to festivals over a year ago, a fact that is currently going to get his ass sued to high heaven for, or the time he plagiarized an apology to Alec Baldwin. Both of which we’re just supposed to believe were performance de arte by a master innovator of ideas and conventional rigmarole which is probably why he deleted the whole thing. That, or even Shia LaBeouf couldn’t finish reading it without going, “What the fuck is this shit?” Fortunately, the Internet is Screencap Jesus, so you can see Shia’s fart-sniffing manifesto below then die from drowning in pure, unadulterated bullshit which is why I made Photo Boy read it first. *pokes his lifeless body* I should probably call an ambulance.
EDIT: Diligent commenters have pointed out that Shia cribbed huge pieces of his horseshit rant from here and more egregiously here. To which I say, how dare you restrain his beef genius?! Have at you!