Shia LaBeouf Wanted To Wear A ‘Penis Cam’ For ‘Nymphomaniac’

February 12th, 2014 // 24 Comments
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While everyone’s squirting digital ink over Shia LaBeouf actually going through with his art exhibit he ripped off Marina Abramovic, here’s a story from the set of Nymphomaniac when he wasn’t trying to disguise his penchant for plagiarism with performance art bullshit and was more focused on the cinematic qualities of dick cameras. Page Six reports:

“Shia had wanted von Trier to put a camera on his penis while filming, so that audiences could have the full experience,” said an insider, but it would have been too much for viewers. (And for his co-star). The film centers on a beaten woman who recalls her varied erotic experiences.

No camera on my dick, I show up to your premiere with a bag over my head. Seems fair enough. As for how this new, artistically alive Shia is going over with the independent film world? Not fucking well:

One studio source said LaBeouf’s ongoing eccentric behavior is costing him roles, and that he was meant to be cast opposite Kate Winslet in upcoming indie film “Triple Nine” by John Hillcoat, who directed him in “Lawless.”

That said, apparently everyone around him understand this shit is a giant gag:

Others suggest that LaBeouf is taking a page from Joaquin Phoenix (who grew a beard and announced he was quitting acting to become a rapper, in a ruse that lasted years), and his whole shtick is part of a “performance art” hoax. Said a source, “Everyone who knows Shia is in on the joke. It’s all part of an act.”

An act to make it look like ripping off Daniel Clowes was all part of a performance. Let’s not forget about that which is always an hilarious joke. “Hahaha, I got away with stealing your work! Now hit me with a hammer. I’m living art.” Actually, never mind, that is pretty funny. We should let this play out. See where it goes.

Photos: INFphoto

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  1. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots Purple Socks LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Whats with the Paul Bunyan boots?

  2. ♫ Ain’t no camera small enough…

    Besides, dildo-cams have been around for years. Some revolutionary idea.

  3. If he keeps this up much longer his name is going to be used as a verb for any empty, pretentious, half-aware, half-assed act of douchebaggery which insists on calling itself Art.

  4. brick

    Hey look! It’s pointed at him right now!

  5. Visible Ink

    Unbelievable, out of the LaBeouf/Fox dynamic duo it’s Fox coming out winning – despite everything – after rolling up her sleeves, washing another Ferrari and now filming the TMNT abomination currently being sodomized by Michael Bay.

  6. JC

    So that audiences could have the full experience of…what, exactly? I don’t have eyes on my penis. I can’t even imagine that–the nose on the underside of it is bad enough.

    • You don’t? Mine does, but let me tell you, it’s real hard to get the flashlight in there at the same time so I can see what’s going on.

  7. Jay

    Shia has gone over the falls. Someone needs to do an intervention, stat!! The boy needs help. Or we’ll be reading about his suicide as performance art.

  8. Like I have any interest in seeing the inside of Shia’s mouth anyway.

  9. Smapdi

    Who exactly is “everyone around him” that are in on the joke? You rarely see the guy with any friends or even hangers-on. However, plagiarizing Joaquin Phoenix does sound 100% LaBeouf.

  10. buzz

    The main problem with the penis cam is that nobody is going to pay to watch it going in and out of Shia’s bunghole.

  11. The Most Interesting

    My taint has more talent than this thing.

    And it still can’t hit the high C on the rusty trombone.

  12. This sounds like a paraphrasing of what actually happened. I suspect that after becoming tired of his costar vomiting during the nude scenes with him, Shia said “how about I shove a GoPro up your snatch?”.

  13. Reg

    I think his next performance art plagiarism will be to pull a GoPro out of his ass as a “tribute” to Carolee Schneemann’s Interior Scroll performance.

  14. malaka

    the most realest of artists burn their work after it is finished.

  15. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots Purple Socks LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi, I’m here for the gang bang?”

  16. HeadBeouf

    I thought Shia LaBeouf was already a walking dick?

  17. Nut bra

    I can actually smell these pictures. Not nice.

  18. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots Purple Socks LAX
    Feral belcher
    Commented on this photo:

    Shia Le Douche, more like it.

  19. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots Purple Socks LAX
    ruth
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pyramid on your hat…

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