Shia LaBeouf Is The David Blaine Of Hipster Douche Art Now

Shia LaBeouf has once again staged a performance art piece using the collective brainpower of every stoner who ever thought “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we…?” then fell asleep on his pizza rolls. Last time, he sat in a theater and watched all of his movies with people. Before that he sat in a room then said he got raped. Now, he’s riding an elevator for 24 hours and we’re all paying attention because it’s finally become clear that our lives are void of any and all purpose. Via Rolling Stone:

A day after commemorating their previous project — a cold-call experiment called #TouchMySoul — Shia LaBeouf and the other members of his artistic collective (Luke Turner and Nastja Säde Rökkö) have launched #ELEVATE, in which the trio livestream a 24-hour elevator ride. Early Friday morning, the actor announced through his Twitter feed that they would be occupying a lift in Oxford starting at 9am on February 19th, briefly pausing at 8pm to give a talk at Oxford Union.

The key theme to every single piece of Shia LaBeouf’s performace art is this: Spend time with me. That’s it. That’s his whole concept. I guess being around Shia LaBeouf for a few minutes of your life is supposed to provide some kind of transcendent experience, worthy of discussion over a bone marrow brunch followed by an improv show where they’re only allowed to speak the words “cookie monster” the whole time. It won’t, and the people at the table next to you will think you’re assholes for going to it, and will talk crazy shit about you, feeling rightfully superior. So, with that in mind, I’m going to approach the practicality of two men, a woman, and a revolving door of strangers spending 24 hours in an elevator with a list of questions I immediately have.

1. Farts. Will we hear them? Will they be discussed?
2. At what hour does the smell of balls take over every other scent?
3. If someone pushes the alarm button, can the fire department legally kill everyone inside?
4. Has technology turned simple human interaction into something so foreign that it can now be considered a genuine and noteworthy experience?
5. Did the kid from Holes just make me question what I’m doing with my life? Goddamnit, did this shit actually work? FUCK!

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