Shia LaBeouf Takes The Pretentious Cake

September 1st, 2011 // 55 Comments

Shia LaBeouf and Marilyn Manson apparently got drunk one night, and like most Hollywood hipsters intoxicated by their rich, earthy butt emissions amidst a sea of ironic argyle, they decided the experience warranted a short film that you can only see after purchasing a $75 book. Now over the past couple of days, we’ve been highlighting the heights of celebrity pretentiousness from Anthony Kiedis’ vegan-ish love of baby-kissed apricots to Ricky Gervais’ “I’m a Rock Star Jesus” cover to show off his new abs, but this Born Villain shit takes the cake. If anyone asks why I can’t live in LA, this. Exactly this. Via indieWIRE:

Locals Rule. I think. Odd, living in L.A all my life and taking for granted my environment, my city. But one night, just a few months ago, I bumped into Marilyn Manson at one of my locals and together we crawled the city a bit; where he lived, where I lived, where we ate and drank and where we have been entertained. We traveled the roads to those places on streets that had become too familiar. And then I reflected back on that brief journey and traced that trip (with photographs). I connected buildings and streets, freeways, storefronts and trees with a BORN VILLAIN at my side. Here it is but with a little mood music to set my mood.

A hipster who felt the need to document every minute detail of his life via tedious and boring photography? My word, what strange and unusual times we live in. If only we had some more words to make this truly sound like a giant, hour-long auto-fellatio festival. Words like, I dunno, an official description from the project site for example:

Our initial objective was to promote something we believed in — a short film we both worked on for Marilyn Manson‘s upcoming album. We found ourselves taking risks on a whim. Artistically your mind works at its highest frequency when paranoid. It allows you to explore every avenue and possibility of your situation at high speeds with total clarity. Born of this new found outlook on a city we had become ambivalent towards, we quickly found ourselves addicted to the recreation of spaces. So, armed with a truck, some rollers and glue for our image we went out in search of the best canvas. Our experiment in self-propelled and executed promotion became our aesthetic and the basis for this book. Some become cops to make the world a better place. Some become vandals to make the world a better looking place. Enjoy. [Note: Emphasis all Shia’s, by way of HuffPo.]

Let’s just jump right into this:

“Artistically your mind works at its highest frequency when paranoid. It allows you to explore every avenue and possibility of your situation at high speeds with total clarity.”
I’m pretty sure Charlie Sheen tapped the depths of cocaine-fueled performance. Trust me on this.

“Born of this new found outlook on a city we had become ambivalent towards, we quickly found ourselves addicted to the recreation of spaces.”
LA sucks unless you’re high. We get it.

“So, armed with a truck, some rollers and glue for our image we went out in search of the best canvas. Our experiment in self-propelled and executed promotion became our aesthetic and the basis for this book.”
Translation: “We hung a couple of posters up then proclaimed ourselves the New Avant Garde. Have at you!”

NOTE: Here’s the promotional video, and your guess is as good as mine:

Photo: Fame, INFdaily

superficial

  1. Ben Dover

    He is the king of Douchbags

  2. Pippy Longcockings

    Does that sweater boost his street cred in the hood?

  3. nick

    If he only realized he can’t act. Mo money, mo problems. I bet he used to be a nice modest kid.

  4. Ae

    Ironic fair isle.

  5. Tyronne Washington

    Looking tough , very tough , in the zip – up sweater . I’d cross the street to avoid you if I saw you coming my way

  6. Pippy Longcockings

    I don’t get the video. It’s like a shittier version of Mr. Brainwash, which I didn’t think was possible.

  7. RoboZombie

    I hate douchebags who spray graffitti on shit that doesn’t belong to them and think they’re “artistic”. Graffitti matters when it’s political folks, like , say, let’s motivate the masses to overthrow tyranny. .
    Spraying your goddamned tag everywhere is like what my dog does when he pisses on hydrants

    Here’;s some goods graffitti: KILL ALL DOUCHEBAG HIPSTERS AND TAGGERS

  8. And this turd got to fuck Megan Fox? I really hope 2012 is real.

  9. Richard McBeef

    Auto-fellation: An ironic retrospective

    By Shia LeBouf

    Foreword by Marilyn Manson

  10. guy

    Some become vandals when dressing themselves.

  11. Dan

    I didn’t even read this article.

    I fucking hate Shia LaBeouf’s public persona. I cannot find any redeemable qualities. I don’t like his acting. I don’t like his interviews. He reminds me of the kids in high school who would act “so sad and sowyful” to get the girl they wanted to fuck and then be a total douchbag.

    This is the standard manipulation by pretending to be sensitive crap.

    Fuck off Shia LaBeouf. Go brag to how you “fucked” Megan Fox to some of your dumbshit friends (I am almost positive he didn’t get to even talk to her off camera).

    Let’s all stop talking about him. Maybe he will go away.

  12. Satan's bitch

    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? I want my 2 minutes and 23 seconds back, Shia, ya little douche.

  13. Tracey

    Shia LeBouf, I have never seen one of your movies, but you seem like a very great MORON. Seriously, the dude loves to talk about himself and his problems and his “art.” And himself and some more himself and himself in third person.
    As for Marilyn, he’s done and grasping onto anything.

  14. Lauraa

    doesn’t he look GORGEOUS with that GIANTS cap ?

  15. thespiral

    Breaking News: “Art” by pretentious Hollywood hipsters is derivative self-indulgent bullshizzle!

    Next Up: The grass is green!

  16. Richard McBeef

    kill yourself with fire.

  17. Shia LaBeouf Born Villain
    Yo, Fish!
    Commented on this photo:

    This new commenting system fucking sucks.

  18. Venom

    I swear to God, I am hoping for the day that he runs into Brian Austin Green on the street and BAG beats the living shit out of him until he is bleeding out of every orifice and crying on the sidewalk in a fetal position.

    He is the supreme king of all douchebags.

  19. Carrie

    Oh, I see. I was really confused that his last douchebaggery outfit didn’t possess an ironic cardigan, but it seems that he was just waiting to pair it with the paint-splattered skinny jeans and tight plaid button-up. Whew, that was a close one.

  20. Knippy

    Since when is he from LA? He’s from Chicago, you used to be able to see him walking around the city all the time, a completely normal guy. Then he got all douche-y and went LA. Too bad.

    • indendo

      He’s not from chicago. He was born in L.A and raised in Echo park. He’s been an L.A. douchebag all his life.

  21. Zilly

    The only person that can rock a sweater like that is Mr. Rodgers. And he died a long time ago.

  22. That outfit really does need a bolo tie.

  23. Angie

    I watched the vid. I’m not gonna lie; it was a total piece of shit.

  24. Emz

    Well that was the biggest piece of self-congratulatory wank I’ve watched in a long while.

  25. BrandiLye

    Goodbye, Shia. I’m sorry the thought you were sexy even crossed my mind. Now I’ll go back to imagining a shower poof every time I hear or read your name.

  26. Ed

    Most people today already think “modern art” means “pretentious, impractical, self-aggrandizing, overpriced, pseudo-intellectual, no-talent, masturbatory crap” and you’re proving them right Shia; much to the chagrin of actual artists who are worse off, for being called “artists” now that you call yourself one too.

  27. Shia LaBeouf Born Villain
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Starsky is gonna be pissed when he finds out Shia stole his sweater.

  28. bj

    This video is literally a joke. It’s South Side Hypster. I didn’t even know that was a thing!

  29. OnTheRealThough

    wtf is this pancho sweater-wearing bozo talking about?

  30. forrest gump

    pssssst: HIS SH*TTING-PAPER WAS OUT, SO HE USED HIS JEANS!!

    • I realize you’re probably from some assbag fourth world hole where you wipe your ass with your hand, but if you’re compelled to post here you gotta either get a better autotranslator or track down someone who’s been to America so you can get some sort of a fucking clue about life here, because you’re so ponderously humorless that whatever’s the au courant version of ‘epic fail’ can’t begin to describe your posts.

      First, it’s “toilet paper”. Hope you get to experience it sometime in person, rather than just go by rumors of its efficacy. Secondly, unless LaBoeuf is a bird, his shit isn’t white. Now fuck off.

      • :P

        wow I hope for your sake that you are 14 or younger, otherwise you are one pathetic adult. how exactly does referring to tp as “shitting paper” mean that they are foreign exactly? typical arrogant, spoiled teenager defending someone as arrogant and spoiled as LaBouef

  31. Shia LaBeouf Born Villain
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Will Optimus PLEASE just run this douche over already.

  32. dondiesel

    NYG BIG BLUE

  33. chris

    Apparently Shia just saw Exit Through The Gift Shop and now he is an expert on street art. I can’t stand that little delta bravo. Go make another crappy robot movie and stop trying to sound profound by writing senseless drivel about nothing. Since when does paranoia add clarity to a situation? If anything it makes you imagine things that don’t exist.

  34. freaky

    It’s almost as if he’s trying to sound like Anthony Bourdain who is himself trying to sound like Jack Kerouac meets Robert Zimmerman. Entirely too derivative for my taste. I think he should shoot a biopic with Terrence Malick directing. We could get 10 minute shots of Shia starring forlornly through plateglass at hookers on Melrose. It would be awesome.

  35. Alice

    Sooo… what I should learn from all this is:
    1. The end of the world is upon us
    2. I should have more respect for Justin Bieber. Apparently he’s not the lowest douche in the world history of douches.
    3. It should be illegal for parents to name their children Shia. It obviously comes with some inherent damages.
    4. I should just cut my internet connection. There’s nothing good coming out of it anyway.
    Which finally brings me to lower my costs and use the extra money to buy more alcohol and make it all seem like a bad dream.
    So basically, it’s all for the greater good.
    Geesh.. thanks, Shia! How come I never saw that coming in the first place?

  36. WhatTheFuckWhoCares

    Sounds like someone is jealous they weren’t invited

  37. rough, humane

    Why is he being called pretentious?. Putting graffiti on film is art within art…

  38. Deacon Jones

    what. a. fucking. loser.

  39. chicken mcfuck

    This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Marilyn Manson actually sought out the bottom, and Shia..is just retarded. I’ve heard five year old kids make more profound statements. Goddammit. Self-important douches.

  40. Shia LaBeouf Born Villain
    miguelito
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait… are those my balls?

  41. Rad

    An overview of the Manson-LeBeouf pretentious partnership and why it happened: http://radrecorder.tumblr.com/post/9804119262/marilyn-manson-attempted-resurrection

  42. Sophie

    Maybe I understood it differently but i don’t find it douchy AT ALL, so he’s found out that LA had hidden art, good for him.

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