Shia LaBeouf Arrested For Smoking & Slapping People’s Asses During Broadway Show

June 27th, 2014 // 44 Comments
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If you somehow haven’t heard by now, Shia LaBeouf, now known only to himself as the “Bob DeNiro of Performance Art, Bitch,” was arrested last night for smoking and slapping people’s asses during a performance of Cabaret and reportedly hauled out in tears while handcuffed. A dramatic scene that apparently ended as soon as he stepped outside where he became Alec Baldwin. “It was like watching a powerful metamorphosis right before my eyes,” no one would say later. Page Six reports:

When cops approached him, he was “incoherent” and “very agitated,” they said.
He tried to quickly walk away from officers but fell flat on his face, the sources said.
Police hauled him out, his hands cuffed behind him, as theatergoers looked on.
At the Midtown-North station house, he allegedly became belligerent, demanding the cuffs be removed.
“Fuck you. I’ll fuck you up!” the 28-year-old LaBeouf said, according to the sources.
Cops decided to not take the cuffs off the agitated “Transformers” star, and he allegedly started spitting, prompting officers to put a face mask on him.
LaBeouf then unloaded on the arresting officer and used a ­homophobic slur.
“I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys,” the ­unhinged actor said. “I’m going to ruin your career,” he added, then allegedly called the cop a “fag.”

Why do I get the feeling the entire point of all this was so Shia LaBeouf could wear a Hannibal Lecter mask? Anyway, there’s been a lot of discussion this week about “political correctness” with a few of you vocally under the impression that it’s totally fine to walk around calling people “fags.” And so to those people, I’d like to congratulate you for being on the exact same level of douche as Shia LaBeouf, and kindly accept your immediate repentance. Sometimes you just need the right catalyst. No no no, don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be embarrassed. Shh, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay. We all do stupid things. It happens, it happens. Now just aim your tears toward my cup. That’s it. Good, good- ohmygod, they’re so salty.

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  1. Fartman

    Where the hell is a UFC fighter when you need one?

  2. Short Round

    Who would have thought out of the Transformers duo Megan Fox would come out better… slightly.

  3. Cock Dr

    Shia’s very public decompensation episode is all over the new this morning. I’d wish him well…..if I gave a damn.
    Perhaps I’d feel more compassionate if there was some video footage of the event, at the very least video might have provided that magic LOL Friday morning moment.

  4. I’ve goofed on him before and I’m sure I’ll goof on him again, but right now I have to say that it is sad when the universe hands you money fame and success and you just piss it all away.

    • MIZ MIZRY

      he’s not pissing it all away.
      he’s paying lawyer fees, hefty court fines, psychiatric ward costs, bubba his cellmate to be gentle, and whoever will be filming all of it for the “art” of it.

    • Johnny Barbells

      …i honestly believe the guy is having a bynes level “uncoupling” with reality, which started a couple years ago, but everyone thought it was just him being douchey & weird.

  5. rican

    He’s still looking for more fists to punch with his face.

  6. Smapdi

    Are we sure he’s not just plagiarizing one of the Chris Brown arrests?

  7. Today, Fish called me a douche and it was the best day ever!

  8. Why do I get the feeling the entire point of all this was so Shia LaBeouf could wear a Hannibal Lecter mask?

    I thought the entire point of this was so Shia could get his name in the media on the same day the new Transformers movie opened. “Look! I’m still relevant! I’m still around! See?…WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME, MICHAEL??? I’ll do anything, I’ll wash your car in daisy dukes…*sob*

  9. I never know what to believe with these stories, except I’m sure LaBeof cried like a bitch.

  10. Lindsay Lohan

    Shia, get your shit together man…you are acting like a fool!

  11. What a piece of shit. Why can’t we make him go away?

  12. I hope he unknowingly, pretentiously states that all of this is part of his lifetime performance piece “Transformation: More Than Meets the Eye”

  13. cdb

    FYI, throwing around “tranny” isn’t any better than throwing around “fag”. You’re usually on point with this kind of stuff, but the “tranny” usage has got to go.

  14. The Smell

    Another one that is just full of himself and on drugs. The 50′s heyday of movie stars was over a long, long time ago. I guess he thinks that everyone still has goo-goo eyes for celebrities. I hope NY gives him some jail time since CA never would.

  15. Shia: Do you know who the f*** I am?!
    Cop: No, I don’t. Because you’re not famous anymore.

  16. ” Happy days are here again, the sun smiles upon us the prick got arrested!!!

  17. It is like the small number of celeb douchebags wake up everyday trying to figure out how to outdo each other. I can’t wait to see what Bieber has planned to top this.

  18. J

    Too much mom sex will make you go crazy.

  19. Swearin

    And this happens the day before the first Transformers movie without him launches. Coincidence? I’d probably feel terrible if I got replaced by Mark Wahlberg, too.

    Maybe he should just do the Michael Bay Rehab program like Megab Fox did; go away for awhile, maybe breed, realize being irrelevant sucks and then swallow your pride, wash a Ferrari and get a plum role in a different 1980′s retread.

  20. This just goes to prove that you can be arrested for being a stupid and ugly asshole.

  21. Where’s Bumblebee when you need him?

  22. Not for nothing but this kid needs help, most people tend to forget he was a child star, on Disney at that.

  23. Mama Pinkus

    can someone explain how this guy gets such major roles – by all accounts he is a mediocre actor and an asshole in real life

  24. Can Hollywood now stop forcing this douche bag down our throats? Every so often we get an “actor” that a bunch of producers get a hard on for and then insist on repeatedly casting. I get that Spielberg wanted to turn him into Jimmy Stewart and so he cast him in Transformers and even worse Indiana Jones Jr. (I do like that movie but will never forgive the casting of that obnoxious weirdo) but it’s time to let it go. We don’t like him. He doesn’t want us to like him. He goes out of his way to make us not like him. Let him have his way and disappear into the ether of obscurity.

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