After he “left” the Broadway play Orphans, Shia LaBeouf spent most of March feuding with Alec Baldwin and repeatedly calling himself a “man” even though I’m pretty sure most men don’t settle their disputes by tweeting leaked e-mails from the safety of their apartments. Anyway, Shia went on Letterman last night where he admitted Alec had him fired, yet chalked the whole thing up to manly tension between two men because have I mentioned Shia LaBeouf’s a man? Via Us Weekly:
“Me and Alec had tension as men. Not as artists, but as men,” he explained. “In a room, that became a hard thing to deal with. When you’ve got tension as men, that’s tough till July. It’s cool for increments, but to do that for a long period of time would have been tough.”
“Can I suggest a couple of scenarios,” Letterman said, “Alec went to the producers and said, ‘I can’t take it another day, fire him.’”
“I think that might have been what happened,” LaBeouf confessed.
It wasn’t over “creative differences?”
“I think that’s what you’ve got to say as a business-savvy answer for what actually happened,” LaBeouf said of the public statement.
So basically Alec Baldwin had Shia LaBeouf fired for being a douche. A statement I can safely make because if you read the emails Shia leaked to make himself look good, he still comes off a douche. In one of them, he literally complains about Alec Baldwin memorizing the script. A man doesn’t read, Alec, a man does. A man drops steaks in the dirt when no one’s looking. And sometimes when they are, but in this case, a man knows a pork chop sends the right message. A man tells you things, important things, like a shoehorn is the wife you never knew you needed and Roger Sterling was the mayor in Underdog. This is man, Alec. This is man.