Hipster ingenue/butterfly penis artiste Shia LaBeouf is still bitching about getting paid millions of dollars to star in Transformers because now no one takes him seriously as an actor. So here he is telling USA Today how he’s decided to solve that problem by dropping acid on set and agreeing to literally have sex on camera for director Lars Von Trier which, to The Beef’s credit, he’s convinced his girlfriend doesn’t count as cheating:
On doing acid on the set of The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman:
“There’s a way to do an acid trip like Harold & Kumar, and there’s a way to be on acid,” says LaBeouf, 26. “What I know of acting, Sean Penn actually strapped up to that (electric) chair in Dead Man Walking. These are the guys that I look up to.”
On agreeing to have actual sex on camera with someone who’s not his girlfriend:
“I have ethics, I’m not completely out of my mind,” says LaBeouf, who got comfortable with full-frontal nudity shooting a music video for Icelandic band Sigur Rós’ Fjögur Pianó, released this summer.
“But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sex. Sex is beautiful if it’s done right. And I wouldn’t just do it for no reason. … Sex is different than love, and there is a separation, and that middle gap is what the movie’s about.”
On the plight of being a millionaire:
“If I could give the money back and get all the credibility in the world that I’m seeking, I would do it tomorrow,” he says. “In a heartbeat.”
In all honesty, I would actually respect Shia LaBeouf if he drove up to Dreamworks studio, wrote them a check for the exact amount he made from all three Transformers and said, “Here. Take your dirty robot money. I make art with my dick now.” Or just write me that check. I’ll credit him until the penis butterflies come home. “Did you see the new Shia LaBeouf movie? Dude.” And that’s just a taste.