Shawne Merriman sues Tila Tequila

Proving Santa really did get my letter, Shawne Merriman is finally suing the elven pants off Tila Tequila. TMZ reports:

In the lawsuit, filed in US District Court, Merriman claims Tila posted all sorts of lies on her website, including stories that Merriman “choked and attacked” her, “sleeps with minors and forces them to take drugs,” and that he manufactures drugs in his home.
Shawne also claims in the docs that Tila admitted her lying scheme, at one time stating, “yes that is why I did a ‘spin’ now … cuz now everyone is LOVINGGGG me.”
Merriman isn’t suing for defamation though — instead he’s suing for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition as well as trademark infringement … because Merriman claims she used his famous “Lights Out” logo on her website. Merriman also claims Tila’s accusations screwed up a deal to produce a line of T-shirts for Walmart.

If this lawsuit doesn’t end with a judge handing Shawne Merriman a shotgun and instructions to do “the Lord’s work,” I’ll have lost all faith in the legal system. Seriously, what other logical ruling could come of this? Besides threatening Tila with an owl, the natural predator of the midget world.

Photos: Getty