And Shawn Holley Just Saved Lindsay Lohan From Going To Jail. Goddammit.

The Superficial / January 15, 2013

Lindsay Lohan’s still in London and her current lawyer Mark Heller can’t represent her in California yet, so all Shawn Holley had to do this morning was show up in court and tell the judge Lindsay fired her which would’ve resulted in a bench warrant for her arrest. Instead, despite still being owed $300,000, Shawn pleaded not guilty for Lindsay and literally saved her from jail. For the 8,00th time. TMZ reports:

When the judge asked if she was still representing Lindsay — Shawn replied, “At this point, yes” … but it’s unclear what that means since she got a letter saying she was fired yesterday. Lindsay has since hired another lawyer in New York, Mark Heller.
The judge was understandably confused — and Shawn said, “The representation issue will be nailed down.”

“Shawn, listen, I’m sor-“
“Bitch, you shut your mouth. You shut your mouth and you don’t say another word, or I’ll literally sprout wings and fly over there to beat your ass until your mama has to pour coke into you with a funnel. Now here’s what you’re gonna do: You’re gonna fire that crooked ass lawyer in New York today, and then you’re gonna turn around and suck every rich dick in London until you have my money or I swear to God I’ll tell motherfuckin’ Interpol you’re a goddamn opium mule for Al Qaeda. Have I made myself clear?”
“Yes, yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now have a nice flight. Shawny misses you! Mwah!”

Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty