Shauna Sand is auctioning her shit

October 22nd, 2009 // 53 Comments

Shauna Sand posted a video online today (After the jump) where she reveals she’s hawking her personal shit on eBay tomorrow. Everything from heels to swimsuits to personally autographed photos that if somebody ever gave me as a gift, I’d have the legal right to shoot them in the pancreas. Mom.

Thanks to Ryan who wonders how you set your eBay Alerts to “Warn me if she sells her tits.” (That should really be an option.)

Photos: WENN

  1. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

    1st baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. What an actress!

    Related: Bitch can read?!

  3. fetus_mcnuggets

    i will never understand white ppl …

  4. She's a nutcase & a whore

    She ought to auction that mask she’s wearing. Oops, sorry, that’s her face…

  5. Dude

    That’s actually Marlon Wayans.

  6. Dave Mustaine

    Clutch that Marlboro pack nicotine breath.

    She probably farts “Marlboro” smoke donuts out of her old fossil ass.

  7. Turkey Waddle

    She used to be so gorgeous. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Her lips were fine before. I don’t understand the lip plumping shit.

  8. Damian

    Will she be auctioning off those huge lucite heels that she had been wearing EVERYWEAR to give us the illusion she was a taller tramp than she already was??? HAH!

  9. ******KrazyHotKelli**********

    Thiz bitch wizhez zhe waz az hot az me.

  10. hamper_lint

    Ok, I could deal with the bleached hair, the fake boobs and even the lucite heels … the pack of cigarettes really scream class !

  11. Roman Polanski

    Is she auctoining off the panties she wore when she seduced her 18 year old stepson?

    That’s a little warped, even for Woody Allen or Roman Polanski.

  12. spudz mackenzie

    She smokes Marlboro’s like a man’s man. How the hell doesn’t her face burst into flames and melt off? I’d imagine putting an open flame near any part of her is a major fire hazard.

  13. wet newspaper

    wow, she’s pure class! i can’t decide what i like most about these photos. it’s a battle between the beef jerky fake tan and the pack of marlboro’s.


    The friend is mine… Shauna can keep her fat, cig smellin’ lips to herself.

  15. als10point

    The friend is mine… Shauna can keep her fat, cig smellin’ lips to herself.

  16. Humpinfrog

    I hope she auctions off that ankle tatoo. I’ve always wanted that lamp from the, “Christmas Story”. Maybe Santa does make wishes come true. I’ll bring the saw baby, let’s roll!

    By the way, don’t worry about the shipping and handling. I’ll bring the butchers wrap and meet you in that cheesy hotel room. I’m a giver.

  17. Taz

    No thank you!

  18. Kelsey

    Wow, she’s so very enthusiastic! That was hilarious.

  19. Could hardly hear a thing she said but then again was too busy staring at her tits.

  20. JT

    On a related note:
    Stripper Warehouse is back in business do to a special Shauna Sand bailout! Sluts, whores and desparate mid 30′s divorcees come in for a special discount!

  21. Kelley

    What, if any, part of this girl is real ? Not that it matters … looks like she actually bought a new pair of stripper heals and ditched the clear ones for the night. Whatever.

  22. ZOMG!!!!1

    I must take part in such an amazing opportunity to purchase some random whores used junk!!

    So how much are her lips going for? I’m making a daffy duck costume for Halloween and they would complete my home-made mask.

  23. Is it just my imagination or is she looking more and more like a blowup doll every day? I am certain that soon she will have so much collagen in those puppies they will be in a permanent O shape. Then the transformation will be complete. I am no psychologist but doesn’t that suggest something a tad sad about this girl? Like maybe she can only see herself as a sex object or something? Just sayin…

  24. Shani

    i’m pretty sure its safe to say…..She Aint Got No Alibi!!

  25. I would

    Suck her toes…for sure.

  26. soahc

    I would fuck this skank five ways to nowhore.

  27. dee cee

    …everyone looks better standing next to her.. EVERYONE

  28. My penis would have to be pretty desperate to persuade me to stick it in this walking cartoon.


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  30. She is looking very sexy with those high heels . Really nice figure. I think she is capable enough to arouse anybody . Thanks.

  31. Turd the third

    Geeze, those are two ugly chicks trying to look pretty. Her lips are just so gross, I image they will look just wonderful when she is 70. It kind of looks like her tits are connected to her lips somehow internally. I have a hard time believing that she can look in the mirror before she goes out and is happy with what she sees. She looks closer to a circus clown than that of even a well used, slightly abused, high mileage peeler.

    And her friend, that has to be one of the ugliest mutt face in all of hollywood. She must have run hard into a closed door when she was young…

    Enough of these two, I wouldn’t even buy her used panties at the auction!

  32. Alex

    “I’m sending you lots of kisses, love, and more kisses.”

    EEEEEEWWWWWW! Seriously, she’s dis-gus-ting. An that was before I knew she smoked. Talk about gross.

    And aside from that, I think this is the worst promo video I have ever seen. How lame.

  33. Deacon Jones

    Does that make me a pervert if I contemplating buying her panty hoses to jerk off to?

  34. havoc

    I stopped staring at her tits long enough to notice that her upper lip doesn’t move when she talks.


  35. Sport

    Its called a SKANK #3, they come in all colors you dumbfuck.

  36. Elle

    Trying to imagine her w/out the fake tits and stripper shoes…is there anything left of her that’s not 100% fucked up and fugly?
    To Fish: Please stop posting CENTAURUS’ photos, they scare my husband !!!

  37. It’s got to be asked….Do the items she’s selling come with a warning: WARNING: this item may or may not contain herpes, AIDS, HIV, Hepatitis A – Z, syphaliss, the clap, crabs, and any other STD that hasn’t been discovered yet that resides on Ms. Sands.

    I mean, it’d be false advertising not to warn us, right?

  38. Dance_across_water

    she is so gross. *shivers*

  39. cc

    Geez, how did she manage that? Her friend is as stank as she is. That must have taken some real excavating, er, searching.

  40. meh

    I’d hit the one on the right. Don’t judge me.

  41. josh

    This women is unbelievably ugly :(

  42. jessica

    She has the face of Donna Versace and the voice of Paris Hilton. Match made in heaven!

  43. Sauron

    I’ve always wondered what $20 bucks whores look like.

  44. Nero

    The last one doesn’t look more worth than $10 bucks though.

  45. Darth

    Sine when is the Hollywood Walk of Fame a street corner?!

  46. cc

    Sauron and Nero, $20 and $10? Maybe if you are counting the price of a drink or two. Otherwise this is a “club is closing in 15 minutes and what options do I have?” chick…not a pay for play.

  47. i will never understand white ppl …

  48. SNS

    Oh lordy…if you look on the eBay site at #123, those shoes are NASTY! It looks like she wore them after every spray tan appointment. YUCK!

  49. Imagination

    Ad man: “Here’s $20, baby.”

    Shauna: “You want me to do you here?”

    Ad man: “No, baby! I’m from Altria. That’s product placement money. You suck on those, not me.”

    Shauna: “Oh! OK!”

  50. This the trick wen you have no money(sell )

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