Sharon Stone, for the love of God, put your shirt back on

Dear Ms. Stone,

If you have inside information that proves it’s actually 1992 and not 2008, kindly forward it to my immediate attention. In the meantime, I’m gonna have to ask you to put those things away. Yeah, you’re at Cannes – Woo-hoo! But, please, don’t make me unleash the Jean-Claude on you. The man can still kick pretty high after he takes his blood thinner and enjoys a warm breakfast of Quaker Oatmeal. (I’ll safely assume you’re enlightened on the importance of regularity.)
In closing, thanks for all the boners when I was in junior high and always had to go to the chalkboard. Finally, I had something to complement the acne.

C’est la vie!

The Superficial Writer