Sharon Stone, for the love of God, put your shirt back on

May 22nd, 2008 // 58 Comments

Dear Ms. Stone,

If you have inside information that proves it’s actually 1992 and not 2008, kindly forward it to my immediate attention. In the meantime, I’m gonna have to ask you to put those things away. Yeah, you’re at Cannes – Woo-hoo! But, please, don’t make me unleash the Jean-Claude on you. The man can still kick pretty high after he takes his blood thinner and enjoys a warm breakfast of Quaker Oatmeal. (I’ll safely assume you’re enlightened on the importance of regularity.)
In closing, thanks for all the boners when I was in junior high and always had to go to the chalkboard. Finally, I had something to complement the acne.

C’est la vie!

The Superficial Writer

superficial

  1. Where are the pics of her ballsack?

  2. Scotty D

    Furst!

  3. Scotty D

    Furst!

  4. snarky

    Looks like she’s had some more work done, because she was starting to look pretty raggedy for a while there, but now she’s doesn’t look too bad, considering her age. She always was an attractive woman, but from what I’ve seen and heard, she’s a major bitch. So that cancels out all her good qualities.

  5. 1BigBear

    Why, why, why is she acting like an adolesent girl? Grow old with some dignity, damn it!

  6. Jim Liu

    She looks pretty good to me ya homo.

  7. Captain-Insano

    #1: I agree with ‘Scrote. Where’s the pics of her scrote?

  8. alan greenspan

    Still looks pretty good to me.

    http://tinyurl.com/594rte

  9. She's an old hag (all women over 30 are)

    This is truly indecent and I am offended. I feel assaulted by this vision of decrepitude. Women need to realize that it is disgusting to wear anything more than a long bathing suit past those childbearing years or 25 or 30 in extreme cases.
    This woman is a pervert.

  10. ph7

    She must buy Astroglide by the 55-gallon drum.

    DO NOT WANT OLD AND DRY.

    Under 30 please.

  11. 1BigBear

    #6 Don’t homo me, dude! I said nothing about her body but stated that she behaves like a horny teenager. So learn to read!
    Had I commented on her body I would have nothing else to say but that she is a washed up, over the hill cow with fake tits, a botox-face and an irritating vagina.

  12. I once sucked on an old geezer’s tits. I was lucky enough to meet my octogenarian whore on c e l e b matches.com

  13. emma frost

    Not interesting

  14. You guys suck. Anybody who thinks over thirty is old can bite me. Maybe it’s time for you to get off your mom’s computer, finish high school and see the world…and by world I mean lots of porn..

    I’m bitter, but not cause I’m over 30. It’s because I’m out of Arrowhead.

  15. dude_on_a_wire

    I would so hit that… with the lights turned down just a little – think time machine circa 1992.

  16. I don’t know what the hell you people are looking at here, but I bet she gets carded ALL the time… for the early bird special.

  17. Joco

    She looks good considering that she’s on welfare

  18. nerdkiller

    She’s a sabertooth (grandma cougar). Looks ok to me.

  19. Auntie Kryst

    @14 Frist, I was just about to ask for a belt of that shit.. Regrettably I’ve missed that special moment of detoxing between still drunk and hungover. Fucking hell, 5PM isn’t going to get here fast enough.

  20. FRIST!!! Here’s something to take your mind off your Aarowhead dilema..

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZsAowlv1XSc

    Ah, hell, just remembered you can’t watch videos at work.. Well, it’ll be more fun to watch drunk later anyway..

    And this is not a story fish. Boring as hell…….. I swear, someone needs to get Adnananan back into brits life…… This actually makes Rock of Love look entertaining..

  21. snarky

    She really looks like Renee Zellwegger in that first picture…and thats an insult.

  22. Thanks guys, and I will watch that later after many beers..

  23. To Frist:

    If you are over 30 dear you must realize that though your love life is going to spiral downward from here on out, there are things you can do to at least somewhat alleviate the deep depression that aging women suffer.
    If you are not with children there is not as much hope as the lonliness is said to be a chronic killer. I have experience some of my people’s lives crumble because of this. I remember telling this one I deflowered when she was still young and attractive ( I use her til she was about 28 – on and off for a couple years, once a week or so) that she needed to get married and never did and then her looks began to fade. She settled for a degenerate guitar player and is much worse the wear now. Life has been hard. I think she is 36 now, a sad age for women to face 40.

  24. little_dick

    #23: You sound like you suffer from little man’s syndrome.

    Did you know that men hit their sexual peak @ 18 yrs old? Its soon going to be allllll downhill for you little man.

  25. ph7

    Here’s another thing that happens once a woman turns 30, and begins her rapid and irreversible decline in ability to attract ANY male sexual interest – your vag starts to look like a roast beef submarine sanwdwhich – see Sharon Stone’s quizno:

    http://img53.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sharonstoneupskirtpictupk5.jpg

  26. Peak? I have money and travel mountains, little man

    I am in exquisite condition. I care not for high school biology. I have sex when I want and that is all I need. With women the likes of which someone of your status can only dream. I do not concern myself with their pleasure. My pleasure is their’s if you know what I mean.
    I doubt it.

  27. janex

    Old tomatoes make the best stew, as my husband is fond of saying….

  28. yes dear 27 but

    Old lettuce ruins the salad.

  29. Over 40 Hottie

    #23

    You must be one of those guys that jerk off to Internet porn barely legal teens and you do not have much of a social life. There are many guys young and middle aged that would love to be with women over 30. I happen to be considered MILF status. I’m having a great time eating right, looking younger than my age, and exercising regularly to maintain my hot body.

  30. Jackson

    Her implants are horrible but at least she does not over eat like fat ass sagging cellulite wide load Kim Kardaskank!

  31. Ted Mosby

    She looks good.

  32. 29

    Other than for purposes of making money, I do not engage in communication with elderly women. Off with you hag. Be gone. Isn’t it time to apply more wrinkle creams Mom?
    Is it garbage night as the servant class says? One becomes aware of diminished appeal when former lover has them handle garbage. Does your …mate or whatever poor people term their union…does he suggest you touch waste?

  33. You are a sad lonely fat man ha! ha!

    #32

    You are a sad lonely fat man ha! ha!

  34. kerri

    #23
    you are a loser and have no idea what you’re talking about. i picture you being some short steroid gym frog who has banged a couple of drunk young girls (who had beer goggles on and thought you were taller and cute) and now you think you’re the shit. for you to put down sharon stone who is still very hot and all woman over 30 – well i can’t wait until the tweens you are molesting realize what a waste of space you are and you are nothing but a Night at the Roxbury loser. get over yourself. everyone else has.

  35. Dilawar from Bangalore

    who is the man post on the older women? My frend you not correct. Women are treasures any age. You speak as betrayer to men. I am think you need to go to american basement.

  36. Rich

    #34
    Incidentally, I could have you at any moment I chose if yours was the pleasure of my aquaintance. I am 6′ 4′ and 210 lbs. and I lift weights though not excessively. I swim in my own pool, play tennis and scuba dive. And I engage in gratifying sex at my beckoning. Life is good.
    I travel as often as I wish which is often. Ashville in two weeks for me and some mountain climbing for a few days.
    What will you be doing then? Ahhh all the peasant children and the troll that married you need tending to I presume. And I imagine the troll (your…mate I shudder to imagine his visage) is now too shall we say obese to mow the lawn? That is now your function as well? Cooking and cleaning no time for intellectual pursuits.
    Sex? 10 minutes if the paunched one can begger and erection.
    Ahhh life for the poor. How very…neanderthal.

  37. Ms. Whiplash

    #36, if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? If you are under 30 I will write off your bullshit as proof of your inexperience. If you are over 30 I will laugh my sweet ass off!

  38. Jeh

    Why the hate? She’s still sexy

  39. STevec

    she looks awesome for a 50 year old…i’d definitely hit that just for the experience

  40. Me One

    SHE STILL GIVES ME A “BONER”!!!!!!

  41. BigGyrl

    I agree! Sharon, put your shirt back on!!!

    And for the love of God keep in right over your face!!!

  42. bossy

    #36

    Your idiocy knows no bounds. I think your living in your own dreamland & most likely only get laid 1x a year (if that)

    Dilawar from Bangalore, basement is too good for that waste of life! (many smiles)

    #37 (Ms. Whiplash) I couldn’t have said it better myself!!

  43. Hot Dog (with a head on it)

    @ 23 and 25
    You are both full of shit and have no clue what you are missing and/or what you are talking about.
    Back to the kiddie pool boys…

  44. Casper

    Beautiful woman.. is she still stay with her husband. someone posted on yahoo answers that she has a profile on ~~I n t i m a t e m i n g l e. c o m ~~ You know it is a place for interracial romance, interracial relationship.

  45. sindy

    I would take Dilawar over Mr. Fancy Pants anyday.

  46. surlywench

    Hey ladies don’t get worked up over the misogynistic and agist comments being made towards us. It’s highly unlikely this guy is even having sex. He’s just some basement dwelling, Associate Degree dropout looking to troll.

    Every man should experience sex with an “old” woman past the age of 30, and experienced how could it can be. Women reach their sexual prime in their 30′s. It’s the best sex to be had, really.

  47. ……………………………………OR SHOW ALL!!

  48. NY Ted

    Hey for a chick pushing 50…I’d ride her like Abdul riding his came across the Sahara Desert…!!! Humpty-Hump-Hump…!

  49. Malkin

    Pushing 50, a TON of plastic surgery, and she STILL looks BUSTED. Every seen a recent closeup of her? She’s granny aged and LOOKS IT.

  50. emmyem

    No one will read this, because it’s “old news” now, no pun intended, but hey, look at some of the photos Fish puts up of women under thirty. They look HORRIBLE and will only get worse.
    I actually SERIOUSLY stared at the pics of Sharon Stone. I found nothing wrong, she looks great!
    I know she is a huge b**ch, but she doesn’t LOOK plastic surgeried to death, she doesn’t have flarms, wrinkles, or saggy boobs and she looks natural!
    And I love to pick on people on this site occasionally.
    OK, who would you rather “do” guys? SHARON STONE or that WART FACED HORSE, Sarah Jessica Parker?

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