Shannon Elizabeth’s husband wants more

March 16th, 2006 // 43 Comments

*shannon_elizabeth_husband.jpgShannon Elizabeth’s estranged husband filed a lawsuit Wednesday seeking half of all property and assets the pair accumulated during the five years they lived together before they were married. Joseph Reitman claims that Elizabeth secretly transferred assets acquired during the years before their June 15, 2002 marriage and contends that he deserves half. Reitman also alleges that he sacrificed his career to promote Elizabeth’s. Elizabeth filed for divorce in June 2005.

The only way this guy could’ve helped Elizabeth’s career is if he, I don’t know, somehow magically made her boobs grow. In which case he’s a goddam genius. Because I doubt it was those late-night Shakespeare readings that helped her win roles like ‘hot naked girl’ and ‘Melanie McKnockers’.

Thanks to Mary for the tip.

Source

superficial

  1. Sheva

    Shoot, he deserves half the money. He ain’t ever going to get to touch the real assets again. Poor guy.

  2. chiris

    Wow, that pose is … wow

  3. Cratylus

    From what she said, he seldom got to touch the “assets” anyway. I’m guessing he had to beg just like Nick Lachey did.

  4. mamacita

    #3

    What the hell? That ebay thing is very strange. What’s up with the novella he’s writing under the picture of the shirt?

    Anyway, I always had a teeny bit of respect for Shannon Elizabeth for being married to that guy cause he’s not very good-looking. I figured that meant she was with him because of his character, which is admirable. Guess that didn’t last. Anyone see that episode of Monster House with them on it?

  5. staticbumblebee

    She’s so pretty, i love her…

  6. SuperSpence

    I’d hit it until it couldn’t be hit no more.

  7. Sheva

    We all adore and love her best with her foreign accent.
    Can any fantasy be better than that scene in American Pie.

    I truly doubt it. She lives in our pants forever.

  8. LoneWolf

    Joeseph Reitman, Nick Lachey, Kevin Federline, Steadman Graham, Al Reynolds…..where do I get in on this action?

    Okay, well maybe not the last two…..

  9. bootface

    i’d stil fuck her

  10. miadm2002

    IF he worked for it, he desrves half. But, I doubt it. Guess she wasn’t smart enough to get a prenup, huh?

  11. detox138

    What? No one else is suspicious that the woman is sportin’ balls in her panties? It looks strangely lumpy down there…

  12. LoneWolf – everything made sense until you got to Al Reynolds. I actually feel sorry for the dude, because I think she actually loves him!

  13. ESQ

    Sounds like Reitman is whinny bitch. Palease! “Reitman also alleges that he sacrificed his career to promote Elizabeth’s.”

    In response to #8 – yes I could not agree more

    In response to #3 – WTF!

  14. tits_on_snack

    that looks nothing like her in the picture.

  15. Clothes off, face down, ass up com’ on.

  16. Heed

    Her career was going nowhere because she was just a pretty face on a beanpole. Then Joe paid for her implants and within the year she was in American Pie. It doesn’t take an accountant to do that kind of figuring…

  17. Reitman’s just pissed because he sold his soul to the devil for a piece of that ass. Look, I think it’s cool as much as the next guy when a hot celebrity chick digs an average joe – but not Joe Reitman. The guy looks like the homeless lovechild of Bigfoot and a woman with Down’s Syndrome. Sue? He should just thank God he got within fifty feet of her without security beating the shit out of him. When he loses, I suspect there will be yet another celeb sex tape making the rounds…

  18. Swordman

    I had a chance to peek at the divorce papers, the reason she gave for filing divorce is “He Stopped Hypnotizing Me”. That and she probably got sick of him refererring to her breasts as “Hall and Oates” Take a look at this troll

    http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8432524/

  19. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Will somebody please buy me some implants, too? I’ll send you pictures and you can sell them to the Superficial once I’ve been in a few teen movies with gratuitous titty shots. Pleeease?????

  20. hafaball

    Actually Sheva, the fantasy in Gang Bang Bitches 23 is pretty good, but Shannon always plays the “hot naked girl” with such passion, she truly deserves something, truly….truly, truly, truly…

  21. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    PS. She looks like one of those ads in the back of porn magazines in this picture – “is this where you put it?”

  22. amma

    …I don’t know about half, maybe he could get back whatever he put into it, but no more. Otherwise that would be gross.

  23. So lets see, her job was being hot, and his job was what? Not to crsh her with his bulk during sex so she would still look hot in movies?

  24. hafaball

    Anyone know why the Superficial has Catholic Matchmaking site as an ad? Where’s the Jewish Matchmaking site huh? I only thought this was relevent here since Shannon seems to be wearing a Catholic school girl uniform…

  25. gogoboots

    Who’s this girl again? I plum forgot…

  26. gogoboots

    Wow her husband is such a troll, ICK! No wonder she left him, she’s way too hot for him…

  27. Isn’t Shannon a little old to be posing like a slut?

  28. Isn’t Shannon a little old to be posing like a slut?

  29. the wolf

    Reitman is now allegedly dating professional poker player Annie Duke, which is a downgrade to say the least. No wonder he’s pissed.

  30. TowelHead

    I think they took that pic from her highschool yearbook. It’s a total rip-off of mine, except I wasn’t wearing panties.

  31. dark

    You’re never too old to pose like a slut. Just ask Sharon Stone.

  32. KT

    Sacrificed what career? Who the hell is he?

  33. auh2o

    You know, Shannon Elizabeth is 25% Arab and 25% Persian or something. Which is significant for some reason.

  34. derekd

    I would love to have a smorgasboard with her pussy, taint and butthole. Yes i am a dirty pig. my number ladies is…… Her husband is luck he got to bang her let alone marry her. Have you seen his fat ass? One word buddy: Treadmill.

  35. pringipisa

    This guy is a douche. The only money this sasquatch is entitled to is what they acquired after they were legally married. That’s the whole point of BEING married. You can’t go back and sue for half of everything while you were dating! If THAT were the case, you would have to give half the money you made the past few years to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for the years you were dating them. Commonlaw is bullcrap. Boy, he must really have a massive penis, because his ugliness on the outside pales in comparison to the ZERO character / pride he has on the inside. What are all the jobs he missed out on being married to a hot actress living in LA?? Making appearances as a cracked out Ron Jeremy impersonator. I’ll send him $50.

  36. TowelHead

    And anyway – what’s with her surprised expression? I’d understand it if she were bent over like that with a cock up her arse. It’s just not a realistic pose. Hey Derek, shame you weren’t around to offer your services when they snapped that pic.

  37. staticbumblebee

    Amen, #36!

  38. Dee

    #32 LOL

  39. JacksonWallace

    It would be cool to bang SE a couple of times, but if she was with him just because she could only stand a non-threatening guy, and he had to endure her dominatrix attitude 24/7, then the guy should pimpslap her. Its gonna be hard for him to duplicate that terrain, thats for sure, but he probably did go through 5 years of the menstrual cycles and insecure tantrums of a total babe. That’s worth something. Plus she probably got HPV from her co star in Tomcats.

  40. bakismaki

    I remember seeing a show some years back, I think it was that MtV Cribs show, and they showed her and her husband in their house. She definitely wasn’t the same as people are used to seeing her in movies. She looked no where need as good and her personality was closer to Alannis Morissette than her hot chick image. You know that whole hippie, organic food, birkenstock sandals sort of thing. I definitely never saw her the same after that. I hope I ruined her for every one else too. You can thank me later, it’s okay.

  41. bakismaki

    I remember seeing a show some years back, I think it was that MtV Cribs show, and they showed her and her husband in their house. She definitely wasn’t the same as people are used to seeing her in movies. She looked no where need as good and her personality was closer to Alannis Morissette than her hot chick image. You know that whole hippie, organic food, birkenstock sandals sort of thing. I definitely never saw her the same after that. I hope I ruined her for every one else too. You can thank me later, it’s okay.

  42. LaydeeBug

    Hubby sounds like a guy who was so far up his wifes ass that she had to leave him out of respect for herself. He sounds like a bitter bitch. Fuck him. Lachey deserves money before this wipe does.

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