Shania Twain’s (soon to be ex-)husband hates his penis

May 22nd, 2008 // 122 Comments

Chances are you’ve heard the reports that Shania Twain’s 14 year marriage to producer Mutt Lange is in the crapper. Turns out ol’ Mutt has been seeing another woman, if that’s what you want to call the thing standing next to Shania. (I’m going with “Jabberwocky.”) If that’s not enough, the lady in question Marie-Anne Thiebaud was also a close friend/employee of Shania, according to People:

“Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship,” says one source, adding that the Swiss employee was a fixture in the household Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, shared with their son, 6-year-old Eja D’Angelo.
“Their two families would vacation and spend holidays together,” says the source. “Shania considered Marie-Anne one of her best friends.”

Wait, that Marie-Anne chick is only 37 yet looks like 42-year-old Shania Twain’s mother? That God is one funny bastard. But, seriously, does draft beer and comic books shoot out of her ears during sex? Because, otherwise, I’m at a total loss here. Or, wait, is Mutt Lange blind? That’s it isn’t it? Dude’s blind. BAM! I should solve crimes.

superficial

  1. john's girl

    Her husband’s name is Mutt? The jokes write themselves…

  2. Mutt is a fool

    hah, i just sent that, I guess someone else did it first. what an IDIOT!

  3. Puppy Styles

    I had pancakes for dinner.

  4. Puppy Styles

    I had pancakes for dinner.

  5. Puppy Styles

    I had pancakes for dinner.

  6. michy

    love is blind!!

  7. mimi

    Who cares?

    What is Britney doing?

  8. Rat

    It makes sense to me!
    Mutts mate with other dogs.

    Mutt is a dickhead!

    Shania still looks like 20 something. I friggin love her! Hopes she makes some more country music.

  9. Andres

    Maybe he ain’t blind, maybe he is gay and cannot appreciate female beauty? Or he’s an idiot? It just boggles the mind…..

  10. Foolish Man

    He should just cut his eyes out of his head and donate them to a blind person

  11. The penis wants what he penis wants. Maybe that explains why he only has one eye..

  12. Honey I'm Home

    Damn, that bitch looks like her face caught on fire and somebody put it out with a tire iron.

    But what do you expect? A guy named “Mutt” is naturally going to be attracted to other dogs… how he bagged Sha-nay-nay is still a mystery.

    .

  13. snarky

    That woman is a troll compared to Shania, and looks so much older too. Shania has an amazing figure & is pretty; What the hell is Mutt thinking? Or maybe Shania is an ice cold bitch? Either way, she sure got screwed over; best friend & husband…ouch. My brother pulled the same shit on his best friend…ran off w/ his best friend’s wife (who is a fat, bossy bitch) and now,after 10 years, she just ditched him for someone else. Hate to say it bro, but serves you right. Karma will get you eventually.

  14. veggi

    I’d make a sandwich a day for the man that can shoot beer from his ears.. Maybe even de-wrinkle his shirts in the dryer..

  15. hendero

    “They said, “I bet they’ll never make it” ”

    Ha ha, we were right. Again.

    “I’m glad we didn’t listen
    Look at what we would be missin’ ”

    You’d be missin’ a messy divorce and your husband leaving you for Bigfoot.

  16. Jumpin_J

    So Jeff, I guess you don’t impress her much. Ha! I kill me.

  17. agree

    I am happy for them. But Just saw his profile on millionaire&celeb dating

    site “W e a l t h y R o m a n c e. co m” last week. I am wondering what kind

    of relationship he is looking for on that site. Looking for sugababe?

  18. Mercutio

    The woman may be “a troll” who is standing next to Shania,

    but she has a great rack, seriously great..

    and guys, how do you know Shania isn’t the dullest thing ever? Sometimes you start a conversation with an average looking chick, and it turns into some serious messing about because of how good her personality is…if you don’t know about that, then you’re not fucking the right chicks.

    Or you’re on here dreaming like most of you are.

  19. noneyobeezwax

    if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times:

    you show me the hottest woman in the world and i’ll show you the guy that’s sick of fucking her.

  20. Clem

    Shania is a properly great looking woman but as the old saying goes “Show me a good looking woman and I’ll show you a man who is fed up of putting up with her crap.”

    Mutt Lang has more cash than god. He is one of the most successful music producers/writers of our time.

  21. Ted Mosby

    I love Canadians.

  22. he is still a fool

    18-
    whoopi goldberg has a great rack too, if by great you mean big looking. when you are beyond certain age or a certain point of ugliness… that no longer matters. You don’t REALLY know what they look like till you see them anyways.

  23. President Bill Clinton

    I heard that what really caused the split was that Shania discovered that he liked Moosehead.

    Seems she noticed the antler marks on his thighs.

    .

  24. Fuck Spammers

    #17:

    Kill yourself. You know you want to.

  25. This really does sound like a bad country song, not to be redundant or anything…

  26. man

    This could be part of the problem…..

    “There’s been some speculation that Shania Twain and her husband haven’t had sex in some time, because she’s said to practice a religion called “Sant Mat,” that supposedly does not allow sex except for procreation.”

    That can esplain A LOT.

  27. Auntie Kryst

    @23 That’s one ol’ beer joke, but it’s still fucking brilliant.. Thanks for bringing it back up.

  28. havoc

    Shania’s hot as hell, but you can bet your ass that a woman that looks like that is high fucking maintenence.

    She underestimated the power of men not giving a shit…..

    .

  29. Guy Leflour

    Yeah, it’s easy to look at the picture and go “WAIT A MINUTE… SHANIA TWAIN IS BETTER LOOKING!” But nobody ever considers the possibility that the other chick is a sex addict that insists you shoot it all over her jugs while Shania Twain only lets you put it in her on your birthday. I’d imagine that shit getting old somewhere around month 10, no matter how hot she is.

  30. Skeleton

    NO BLOW JOB – NO SEX NO WONDER HE CHEATED ON HER

  31. MUTT LANGE LANGE MUTT

    Shave and a fart-sack, two bits!

  32. veggi

    The boots question finally answered..

  33. ???

    “you show me the hottest woman in the world and i’ll show you the guy that’s sick of fucking her”

    What’s your point? There will always be a line of guys waiting to even talk to that hot chick. Who cares if there’s the guy that’s sick of it? Guys are dispensible anyways. Move along, tool. Hot chicks can get any guy they want.

  34. NY Ted

    The French chick lets Mutt put it in her bum! He likes that! I mean what other explanation can it be…she’s as ugly as a junk yard dog!.

    Canadian girls have class!

  35. Ted from LA

    Mutt needs to move his boots out from under her bed before she lays down in said bed because something tells me the boxspring will be crushing the shit out of them at that point. I heard her dog died too. And her brother is going to prison. And worst of all, she got drunk and lost some of her clothes. And last but not least, it’s been raining for two weeks straight where she lives. Her pickup truck broke down and now she jumps trains to get to the studio and back. The saddest part of all, I read in the National Enquirer that her give a shit is busted.

  36. Screwed Big Time

    Maybe the sex life was lacking after 10 years and then he started screwing his wifes best friend. This is why all married females should be very careful about having single friends around their husband a lot. This happens all the time because the people feel comfortable with each other, but it is morally wrong. The bottom line is never trust your best friend 100 percent and be careful about the secrets you tell them. My husband dumped me for my best friend. She swallows and I don’t.

  37. Somebosy had pancakes for dinner. I want pancakes. Or another bottle of ARROWHEAD..

  38. I have it on good source that Shania got tired of having Mutt give her a Cleveland Steamer…she wanted more in the relationship

  39. Vim

    The friend lets him come in her face, I imagine.

  40. drewb

    Downgrade….

  41. veggi

    Fucking men. Seriously, you can come on a fucking blow up doll…… is that really enough reason to go from decent to disgusting?? Apparently so..

    I need a drink.

    FRIST!!! Gimmie some damn Arrowhead water!! ……………..please??

  42. Trover

    For those of you who do not know who Mutt is, he is just one of the top rock n roll music producers ever. Seriously good and loaded. He was set before Shania did squat.

    As to the rest, I have heard rumors for years that Shania is a real ballbuster and has issues from her childhood that make it tough to be around her for long. Makes it tough an a relationship. Sure, it is easy to screw a hot chick, but not when you have to live with the emotional baggage for years and they wear you down with their control issues. Cheating is the non-confrontational way of ending a relationship. Passive aggressive, but happens all the time. Ballbusters beware.

  43. Koko

    WTF?! I absolutely HATE her music and am fully committed to my hot girlfriend, but I STILL wanna bang the hell out of Shania! Why the hell would I ever leave the house if I was her husband, let alone fuck the Cryptkeeper there?!

  44. ???

    Men are just animals

  45. Veggi, I knew you would need a water, I brought one for each of us!!

  46. wiggum4prez

    in the dark they all feel the same.

  47. moi

    Which goes to show that looks doesn’t make a relationship work.

    Girls stop starving yourselves, don’t worry about a little cellulite…no matter how hot you look, chances are your guy will cheat on you.

    harsh but true

  48. deacon jones

    High maintenance and pretty = I’m too good to suck dick =
    Fuck you then, I’ll find someone who will

  49. robo

    What am I missing? The article says the other woman is 59. Why dies Phish say 37?

  50. Haitian Ted (Darwinian Philosopher)

    Any woman over 25 or that has had children is damaged goods. Yeah I doubt the old hag was any good in the sack or for the sack. She was ok looking 15 years ago.
    It is only natural that a (successful) man would want a young woman. The losers get married or take our discards.
    A man should always have a mistress and that shoud be the one he has sex with.
    The purpose of a wife is to rear the children (if they are genetically worthy) and to maintain the estate.
    A man (successful) should always have prenups.
    The rest of you losers (working class) have no other options as the risk if infidelity is too great. But then again, being poor, you do not deserve the finer things in life.

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