I don’t know why singers are all of a sudden turning into sasquatches, but it’s really freaking me out. Maybe they’re getting ready to unleash a whole new breed of sasquatch music upon us. Something that involves a lot of crazy hair, big muscles, and possible eating of raw flesh.
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longboorder | January 18, 2006 at 12:45 pm
“Gooney f-ing goo goo”
SuperSpence | January 18, 2006 at 12:47 pm
I’ve never liked Shakira much. Her face isn’t that pretty and she actually boasts about having small breasts. Shouldn’t she be ashamed of small breasts? I mean, isn’t that the lesson every woman in the world should have learned by now: Be ashamed of small breasts, goddammit! Small breasts are an abomination before the Lord! Alter thine hooters or be cast into the pit of despair with all thine raisin-chested witch-sisters!
Nikk The Templar | January 18, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Ohj, that’s just a bad picture of her.
MortyFishbein | January 18, 2006 at 12:57 pm
SuperSpence, I almost spit my drink out. Damn you!
Shakira voice contorts and she always sounds like she is gonna break out into a Jewel-style yodel but then immediately sounds like the lead skank of Pussycat Dolls. It’s annoying and frankly a little frightening.
Whenever, wherever!
Underneath your clothes, there’s a horror story . . .
ScottyBitch | January 18, 2006 at 12:58 pm
Superspence you rock!
amma | January 18, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Shakira’s claim to fame, other than the yodel, is that she can bellydance and sing {?} and look all angry and sexy and stuff at the same time.
But, she’s really short. And some girls are and look great…but she is like squat short. Beauty rule of thumb is your hair shouldn’t be bigger than you are.
Shaun | January 18, 2006 at 1:03 pm
http://www.iballer.com/wallpaper/divas/divas_p_z/shakira/images/shakira4_1024x768_jpg.jpg
WTH happened?
SuperSpence should become a commentator for XM radio: “Celeb Slam with SuperSpence” 7:30 pm Central. That was funny dude. Thanks for the laugh.
Kelly | January 18, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Shaq-quirra looks like a shemale dragqueen inpersenation of her self. She has never been hot or anything to beging with but then airbrushing anyone and they look great.
Spindoc | January 18, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Why did you put a picture up of John Bon Jovi circa 1985 and call it Shakira?
happy_bunny | January 18, 2006 at 2:03 pm
Kelly are you drunk?
spamnews | January 18, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Shakira’s hot. End of story. Yeah, they found a shyte picture of her but she’s far more lovely than that and non-egotistical and self-efacing, and if you really wanna hear her let loose listen to the Spanish-language versions of her stuff.
ZoomBoy | January 18, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Eww, keep Shakira and her “Fijaci
addonis | January 18, 2006 at 2:18 pm
ehhh..she’s still hot.one bad pic dont ruin a few months worth of fantasies.
ScottyBitch | January 18, 2006 at 2:32 pm
that “sasquatch” hairdo prob cost $900!
bitchymcbitch19 | January 18, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Actually, Shakira’s claim to fame is that she’s a very talented songwriter who can actually play an instrument, something that is extremely rare among “musicians” nowadays. Back when she was famous only in her country (Colombia), she would play guitar and sing her own material. Now that she’s become a product of American pop culture, you only see her gyrating her oil-covered torso. Don’t blame the artist, though; blame the industry and the public that supports it.
I love Superficial, but if you’re going to make fun of someone, make fun of someone who actually sucks, i.e. K-Fed. Oh sorry, I mean, Mr. Federline, Master Songwriter.
HollyJ | January 18, 2006 at 3:08 pm
I think she’s a decent singer, a good dancer, and she has great hair. However, I agree that the car-oil slathering has got to go.
Are their men with fantasies of mounting a women covered in Pennzoil? I would think that having your man joyhole jam-packed with car oil could lead to some kind of infection, or at least an uncomfortable itch.
Her NFL neck is also as wide as her head. She needs some kind of neck reduction surgery. And they can remove that enormigantico Adam’s apple while they’re at it. Look at her NECK!
Jayne | January 18, 2006 at 3:11 pm
that IS a bad picture of her..
*sobs*
How tall is she again? 5’2?
badfishstan | January 18, 2006 at 3:57 pm
She’s 4’10″.
She’s damn fine, have you seen the woman dance?
bigfatmomma | January 18, 2006 at 4:22 pm
what the heck is a a sasquatch? you all use it a lot, but i’m not sure i understand what it fully entails. besides the above big hair and big muscles
Larry | January 18, 2006 at 4:40 pm
At 4′ 10″, she’d be the smallest Sasquatch ever.
I actually like that she’s so small — I could more easily slip her into my pocket and cart her off to the dungeon in my basement. Then I’d release her and she could cut her newest album: “a gringo did unspeakable things to me in his dungeon for a few months.” It’d be a real breakthrough for Shakira, and it’d all be down to me.
Larry | January 18, 2006 at 4:41 pm
Bigfatmomma, are your fingers too big and fat to google the word, fer crissakes?
Praz | January 18, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Shakira has suffered from the same affliction as Gwen Stefani: she thinks people care about her talent. Sorry princess, but you’re never too famous to stop being hot. Get back to it, and we’ll get back to listening to your crazy songs. At least Gwen came back to her senses; I hope Shakira follows suit. I love Columbian women.
badfishstan | January 18, 2006 at 5:19 pm
If anyone had a problem with any of the photos at the link below, i’d have to call you a homo.
http://www.shakiragallery.com/thumbnails.php?album=topn&cat=94
5kids_n_crazy | January 18, 2006 at 5:23 pm
longboorder – i GET you – i found that gooney goo goo blast from the past hilarious!
shakira is hot hot hot, covered in oil or not.
annjenleigh | January 18, 2006 at 5:45 pm
sorry, but nobody looks good from that angle. Nobody.
Brit | January 18, 2006 at 5:47 pm
I think even for a bad picture, Shakira doesn’t look even half as bad as some other celebs. *cough* Britney Spears…who at one point was considered the epitome of beauty.
Binky | January 18, 2006 at 6:47 pm
She’s a cutie. ( Anyone with brown eyes has an unfair advantage.)
prideofchucky | January 18, 2006 at 6:47 pm
You guys are completely off your rocker. This women is f’n beautiful. Ah Shakira: her eyes, lips and that AMAZING pelvis… This is a bad picture?!? This is the best you can do?! Maybe she looks tired, probably was taken at the end of her concert doing 2 straight hours of singing and dancing. Hell the piture was even probably taken mid eye-blink.
Sasquatch please- you take a picture of anybody at hip level it’s not gonna be awfuly flatering.
remy | January 18, 2006 at 6:50 pm
I’d just like to know wtf is going on in the pic below…
http://www.shakiragallery.com/albums/userpics/10134/normal_eagles_8160763_tag.jpg
why does it look like they’re bumrushing her small and humble breasts?
prideofchucky | January 18, 2006 at 6:51 pm
Lastly- small boobs? They look pretty nice in that picture- I’d gladly cup them.. Huge boob size doesn’t really matter with that a girl that can MOVE like that. She’d totally kick your ass in bed…
KatieA978 | January 18, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Longborder – that made my day. Just spat my lunch onto the keyboard, boss is wondering why the hell that is so funny.
“Your wife’s a bigfoot, isn’t she Gus?”
spamnews | January 18, 2006 at 9:32 pm
”
Shakira has suffered from the same affliction as Gwen Stefani: she thinks people care about her talent.
”
The difference is, Shakira, even on ludes with an H chaser never said this:
“Tony called me and I was like, ‘Dude, I suck.’ And he was like, ‘Dude, come over.’ So I went to his house and a bunch of our friends there were playing these tracks that Tony was doing that were, like, stupid. I was like, “You did not do these.” And he’s like, ‘Yep, you wanna hear your tracks?’ And I was like, ‘Nuh-uh, you did not.’ So he
pulls out this one and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, that’s my song.” – Gwen Stefani on the artistic process.
God how I love that quote …
Sheva | January 18, 2006 at 9:57 pm
That link of photos to Shakira is evil. Reminds me of the time I was visiting San Diego and she had a concert. I was half serious telling my friend let’s go check her out.
He didn’t know what real half-hearted excuse to give the wife.
And she’s a midget? Under 5 feet. Hmmn, may have to rethink the midget thing. She’s darn sexy.
vida | January 19, 2006 at 1:08 am
Whoever’s never had a bad pic may cast the snide remarks. Visit #23′s link (altho I didn’t really care for ‘em…u can call me homo… cuz I am) She’s hot… for the guy whose head I look over to check out the slightly more developed friend.
lalaloulindy | January 21, 2006 at 4:08 am
Small boobs are great, short girls are lovely, people who are mean are insecure assholes
micronite | January 22, 2006 at 7:49 am
whattaya doin’ Superficial?
Shakira’s been singing and dancing like that since she was a little girl. She’s not any kind of fake and who cares if she’s short and has small boobs?
The money she makes doesn’t go up her nose or to pay off publicists / lawyers to keep her in the news & out of the lawsuits – or to pay photographers to follow her around and take pictures day and night to keep her in the tabloids.
NSFW link follows:
http://www.fundacionpiesdescalzos.com/english/index.php
Chuck | February 24, 2006 at 3:16 pm
I don’t know, I still think she is sexy, even without make up.
hann | April 11, 2006 at 7:52 pm
i cannot believe anyone would make fun of shakiras appearance. just because she is very natural compared to all the other stars and is very original because of her original background is no reason to cut her up as much as everyone has been. …her hair is probably mainly natural because of her spanish/columbian background and she is not 4″11. she is 5″2. not that it really makes a difference- fact is- shes short. just like all the other stars. she has a good body and a very original voice. and no one can make fun of the way she dances- its amazing. so although you may not like her look, there is no reason to deny that she is totally unattractive. she is truly beautiful… and if no one can see that in even the tiniest part of her… then they are blind. or even more likely- jealous.
kk | June 2, 2006 at 10:46 pm
Ok firstly I think it is sick to tell people they need to have plastic surgery because they don
HollywoodSnark | December 13, 2006 at 9:47 am
yup, square, broad shoulders…can’t we get girly singers anymore? http://hollywoodsnark.com
Rogue Cuckold | April 24, 2010 at 3:15 am
I would love to watch Shakira being banged by her black lovers! Then perform any tongue duties required!