A Sea Lion Tried To Murder Shakira

By: The Superficial / February 14, 2012

I don’t usually post harrowing tales of survival in the face of impossible odds, but it’s not everyday I come across one involving a deadly sea lion with a taste for human butt-flesh. The world most know of this! People reports:

Shakira is nursing a few scrapes and hailing her brother as a hero after he saved her from a wild sea lion attack in Cape Town, South Africa.
The singer and her sibling spied some of the aquatic mammals on a tour Sunday afternoon and decided to get a bit closer to take pictures.
“Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me,” she wrote on Facebook. “I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast.”
Shakira believes the sea lion was confused by the shiny reflection of the Blackberry she used to take pictures. “It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it,” she said, adding that she and Tony suffered minor scratches on nearby rocks as they tried to escape.

Of course, Shakira clearly left out the part where she shook her ass at the sea lion while making Charo “cuchi-cuchi” noises making the kill entirely justified. But on a serious note, a murderous creature that knows its way around water? Nancy Grace should probably take a look at this. I’ll dust for prints.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Pacific Coast News