Seth Rogen Based ‘The Green Hornet’ on Paris Hilton

January 12th, 2011 // 18 Comments

Whenever I actually find two hours to sit down and watch a movie, the first thing I do is make sure none of the characters are based off of Paris Hilton because my time is more precious than an adopted black baby occupied uterus. (Goddamn fashion.) Which is why I’d like to thank Seth Rogen for giving me all kinds of warnings about watching The Green Hornet. I feel like I should send him a fruit basket. MTV News reports:

“We kind of based him off a male Paris Hilton, as embarrassing as that is to say,” he told MTV News. “That is what we looked at — those people who are the sons or daughters of people who have accomplished great things. We probably give them a little more credit than they’ve gotten in the past and we explore why they’re such jerks and why they act out. Maybe it’s because they didn’t get the attention they wanted.”

Wow, the rich and spoiled crave constant attention. Seth Rogen, everybody. Psychologist. Anyway, while Green Hornet continues its path towards negative box office, which is the only possibly outcome here, I added pics of Charlie Sheen‘s ex Brooke Mueller filming a reality show with Paris and, more importantly, having large breasts. I don’t want to say they offer a deeper, more complex explanation to this post, but we owe it to ourselves to examine all the facts.

Adding… This. = I stand by my theory.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. MarkM

    So the Green Hornet has syphillus too?

  2. lightdragon

    so you have a superhero who will do all sorts of degenerate things

  3. lightdragon

    I’m trying to think of something funny but i can not. MarkM ‘s remark is good.

    actually they did a Paris hilton ripoff in the cartoon series of the Justice league where they had a superman deal with a female Lex luthor which was based on paris Hilton. toward the end you had her go bald.

    paris Hilton is good as a supervillian. as a hero no unless it has to deal with a lot of sex. the closest i would say would be Catwoman as her character swings both ways(no pun intended)

  4. DKNY

    Kudos to Seth Rogen for stating out loud that Paris Hilton and her ilk are worthless bitches.

  5. If that’s the case, he should have called his character the Velvet Blister.

  6. Just saying one of the useless whores names (we all know who they are) guarantees additional press coverage which tells me there is desperation coming from Seth and can only mean this movie is going to be even worse then we can possibly imagine. And remember we are talking about a Seth Rogen vehicle based on Paris Hilton. Not only can you smell the bullshit, you can taste it.

  7. Deacon Jones

    I saw the previews for this thing…Bruce Lee is rolling in his fucking grave right now.

  8. seth rogen's vagina

    wow, seems like Seth Rogen managed to make what could be the suckiest film ever made even suckier. Seth Rogen sucks. If they wanted to cast an overweight stoner with no acting skills, why didn’t they put Jack Black in this poc movie, at least he’s funny.

  9. Frobz

    The best thing about the original show was Kato, but at least the original Green Hornet wasn’t a bumbling retard. There is nothing about this new “hip, young” remake that doesn’t make me want to hit someone.

    Why don’t they do a live action Brown Hornet? If it’s going to be a joke with moral overtones why not go all the way? I’m sure Bill Cosby would do a cameo.

  10. JR

    Oh, Fish, don’t send Rogen a fruit basket. He’d be much more at home with a cheeseburger/donuts/reefer basket.

  11. Rhialto

    Melon and ham, that’s what i’m eating now.

  12. abe vigoda's eyebrows

    so there is a Green Hornet sex tape?

    so the Green Hornet forgets about his dogs and leaves them to starve in closets, totally forgotten?

  13. sam

    she’s getting uglier

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