Serena Williams is a drunk

March 7th, 2006 // 23 Comments

serena-thumb1.jpgSerena Williams seemed a little overserved at a Vibe magazine Oscar pre-party in L.A. Witnesses spotted a wobbly Williams being helped out of Republic nightclub by two friends. “They were literally holding her up and keeping her steady so she could walk out,” said a source. Serena – who’d been indulging in Moet Champagne – stumbled out early from a party attended by Queen Latifah, Terrence Howard, Kimora Lee Simmons, Ludacris and Nia Long.

I don’t know much about Serena Williams. Hell, I don’t even watch ping-pong, cause the asian players are always flying around destroying people like a bunch of angry Shaolin monks. But I don’t think drinking will improve her chances of winning. Unless she’s trying to win a gang-bang. In which case, game on.

Source

superficial

  1. shoesavvy

    And did anyone notice that in an interview she said that she just loved “Phillip Semen Hoffmore”?

  2. PURPLE_GURL

    oh sure when serena does it its news worthy but when i do it i get thrown in the drunk tank and a fine. equality my a$$.

  3. I thought She Hulk couldn’t get drunk.

    Hm. Guess I was wrong.

  4. jimmycracks

    LMAO… the ping-pong joke has me in tears…

  5. Mr. Fritz

    If she was spending time with Kimora Lee Simmons, I bet she was stoned as well. Hey, she isn’t doing anything I haven’t done, except wasting time with celebrities at a stupid pre-Oscar party.

  6. CheekyChops

    If I looked like a man with a fat arse, I’d be hitting the bottle too.

  7. popcornsuite

    “I don’t know much about Serena Williams. Hell, I don’t even watch ping-pong”

    LMAO

  8. SuperSpence

    Gang-bang? That thing? If I wanted to have sex with a dude I’d hit on George Clooney. I wouldn’t pork Serena with your weiner.

  9. Elisse

    Serena had two friends holding her up? Who were they? King Kong and The Hulk?

  10. I don’t think that men should be allowed to play women’s sports, even if it’s just ping-pong.

  11. tits_on_snack

    Laff My Ass Off.

  12. andrewthezeppo

    Well if I had to battle my way past my top ranked sister to get the number one spot, only to loose it because I stopped playing tennis and started wearing dominatrix outfits and then my sister regained her number 1 spot….I’d drink too

  13. hafaball

    As boring as a story as this is, this was an incredibly funny following, great job Superficial guy, whichever one of you wrote it. :)

  14. Jacq

    #8 LMAO – Snap!
    I just thought it would be funny to post something, since apparently no one even cares about Serena when she’s embarrassing herself – which is what we LOVE ’round here.

  15. LaydeeBug

    Serena William is just a cunt hair away from being hot, if it wasn’t for the over-exaggerated features, fake hair and man-muscles.

  16. Pez_D_Spencer

    15 – I just keep waiting for Stewie Griffin to do the “Anna Sorenstam dangle” and start yelling that she’s a fraud.

    Remarkably handsome woman, Serena. Everything a man could want. Muscles, hairy chest, 4 pound cock….

  17. Lavinia the Vainglorious

    Serena’s pretty damn scary. The Williams brothers picture on those huge Avon billboards have ensured that I will never go near an Avon counter in my life again. Unless I’m looking into a sexchange.

  18. mamacita

    Wow. Above this story, the ad banner reads
    “Our cows abducted by creepy alien freaks. Support each other at cowabduction.com”. Coincidence? Maybe………………….

  19. LMFAO Poster # 8 – SuperSpence

    She kind of does look like a she hulk. Call me weird but it would be kind of cool watching She Hulk and Nia Long play a game of ping pong juiced.

  20. NaughtyBits74

    “Serena William is just a cunt hair away from being hot, if it wasn’t for the over-exaggerated features, fake hair and man-muscles.” I agree. She’s too “buff”. Wonder who was in the insecure one in the relationship? Brett Ratner was probably scared of her.

  21. LaydeeBug

    Pez D, I LOVE that episode. Family Guy ROOOLZ!

  22. LaydeeBug

    Pez D, I LOVE that episode. Family Guy ROOOLZ!

  23. so what?! every body gets drunk!!!

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