Serena Williams in a Bikini

March 26th, 2010 // 140 Comments

Here’s Serena Williams in Miami yesterday and without fail I’m going to be called a racist simply because I don’t express an immediate need to intercourse her in the face like I would, say, Bar Refaeli. Which is bullshit when you ask yourself “Why haven’t Tiger Woods and Jesse James been on top of this?” Seriously, they spent the past five years treating the Earth like a private poon buffet, so don’t tell me this didn’t happen:

SERENA: Hey, Tiger Woods (Or Jesse James.), would you like to have extramarital sex?
TIGER (Or JESSE): No, thank you. I hate black chicks.

See? Now that’s racism. I just think she’s a manatee. Sort of like Brooke Hogan if she loved fried chicken and grape soda.

Wait.

Photos: Fame, Splash News
superficial

  1. Kay

    Funny part is, if the opportunity presented itself, every guy here would do her. I think she’s damned sexy because she wears a bikini and is confident with her body.

  2. Gweb

    For Chrissake people, lighten the fuck up! Fish rips on pretty much everybody. That’s the whole point of The Superficial: to make fun of people. That’s WHY it’s called “The Superficial.” When Fish says “Heidi Montag,” “whore,” and “throatfuck” in the same sentence, you don’t bat an eye, but when he puts “Serena Williams” and “fried chicken” together, you freak out! Chill out, folks!

  3. KC

    unsee, unsee! Un-fucking-see!!

  4. Ikcor

    Release the Kracken!

  5. Sarah

    I think this is an example of a body that just cannot be skinny with any amount of diet and exercise. This chick must work out constantly, and although that would build heaps of muscle, she’s always looked chunky.

  6. is that Jon Cryer in pic 10?

  7. Rough app

    Mind your P’s and Q’s Fish; you don’t want to get tangle into Sharpton’s perm. Also what are the odds this chick has the softer lips in her relationship, that’s what bothers me about Rough looking chick like this…

  8. Albino

    Serena is a violent, rich, spoiled Bigfoot. I would bet she has a huge clit. I hate her fucking guts and whether or not it makes me racist would never even look once at anything other than a pure blooded caucasion woman.
    How’s that grab you ugly fucks?

  9. Pia

    “Funny part is, if the opportunity presented itself, every guy here would do her.”

    Uh, no.

  10. KIKI

    @ 57 Rough, are you drunk already? That is the most incoherent rambling shambles of a post yet, Daddy. Still funny tho.

  11. Innocuous

    @58.
    Good for you. Do you want an award?

  12. YM

    good stuff! thats pretty funny. Boy she looks like shit. Her boobs are swinging down to her knees. Her gut actually sticks out further than her boobs. She also resembles the predator a little.

  13. Innocuous

    @58
    Good for you. Do you want an award?

  14. AnnaDraconida

    Still hotter than Ke$ha because Serena is actually good at something. VERY good.

  15. willis

    I’d still tap that…

  16. wow

    Ya’ll need to chill out on the hating–Serena looks great. Not everybody can be a white bred little stick figure with light hair. Her booty, thighs, and boobs look awesome. Aside from her body, she’s a top notch tennis player and gets paid a LOT to do it. It’s pathetic how much people will say behind a computer screen.

  17. willis

    @66

    ahem brother/sister. Serena is the shizzle.

  18. brit

    that is the funniest thing you have ever written.

  19. brit

    that is the funniest thing you have ever written.

  20. brit

    that is the funniest thing you have ever written.

  21. I call 'em as I see 'em

    What do you mean IF Brooke Hogan liked fried chicken and grape soda?…Brooke Hogan DOES LIKE fried chicken and grape soda, and obviously everything else she can shove into her gaping pie hole.
    Serena, on the other hand, IS a world class athlete, whether you like it or not, and could fuckin’ snap you in half like the little twig-ass punk that you are.

    Ans #58, you ignorant disgrace to your race, the word is CAUCASIAN. Do you just ignore those little red lines that tell you when you’ve misspelled something, or do you think they’re just pretty decorations on your post, you moron?

  22. Jason Whitlock

    Gotta love that oozing pumpkin.

  23. timmy the dying boy

    Say what you like, you know damn well she’d give you the ride of a lifetime.

  24. jesus fuckin' christ

    Do they hand out white hoods at the entrance to your lily-white, rich-boy gated subdivision? Because I think you might’ve taken two by mistake today.

  25. gutter ball

    stevie wonder is a musical genius!

  26. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Oh. My. Fuckin’. Gawd!!!

    *

    THAT…is just fuckin’ grotesque!!

    *

    Bitch needs to lay off the Colonel’s, Jo Jo’s, Haagen Dazs and the Colt 45s.

    *

    Not to mention she needs to hide that man body from the rest of the world. Should be a criminla offense to publicly display a body like that. Her, Octocunt, Hagdonna, Cuntney Love, Kirstie Ally and maybe that Shitney Sperms bitch need to find a place together in the wilderness and leave civilized people alone. Hell, they’d all scare the shit out of the Sasquatches if they saw these bitches.

    *

    Goddamn broads with their deformed and sliced an’ diced and ugly man carcasses.

    *

  27. glenda

    It is true, she loosks fat but she looks GORGEOUS, there is something about black women, that they always look great, they have style.

    We can not say the same about white women, they look pretty only when they are thin.

  28. Heather

    You would think she’d be in better shape considering shes an athlete. :|

  29. Rasputins Liver

    *

    77. glenda – March 26, 2010 9:59 PM

    It is true, she loosks fat but she looks GORGEOUS, there is something about black women, that they always look great, they have style.

    We can not say the same about white women, they look pretty only when they are thin.

    *

    Uh…no. Fat bitches, black, white and otherwise, all look fuckin’ ugly as sin. But your racism is duly noted.

    *

  30. 1) she looks disgusting
    and
    2) “oh she’s the greatest tennis player” yeah right. VERY WEAK ERA FOR WOMEN’S TENNIS AT THE MOMENT. All she does is stand there are belt the ball as hard as she can…. she has no tactical game whatsoever.

  31. sexual chocolate

    she looks pretty awesome.

    she could fuck the hell out of you then kick the shit out of you.

    that bathing suit is pretty cool for her body type.

    rock it, girlfriend.

  32. Like I said before, if she gives up tennis she can be a linebacker for the Steelers!! I’m so sorry, nothing personal, but this is one unattractive lady.

  33. Elisa Day

    As a woman, I would fuck the shit out of her. Looking at these makes me want to massage her muscles. mmmm

  34. Perfect Double Tapered

    @54 Hilarious! One question though..were you referring to the Sam Worthington Clash of the Titans or the far superior Harry Hamlin version?

  35. Rhialto

    Frankly it wouldn’t be bad for TW to hook up from time with this tennis-athlete as part of his mental training and coaching program as well as a upgrade to his image.Aside of breaking a tennis racket from time to time,her record is squeaky-clean.P.S. I know you by now TW. . Don’t disappoint me you hear!

  36. Nero

    She’d occasionally like to break tennis rackets?! Well folks,one of my favorite activities and sports is tree trunk throw! I’m going to lift up and throw this impressive looking ‘tree trunk’ as far as possible! (((HHNNGGG!!!))) Damn.this.dark.oak.trunk.is.really.strong.and.heavy.

  37. captain america

    you’ve seen the belly?
    SHE’S AN ALCOHOLIC, folks?

  38. Rough app

    Hey “KIKI” sweetheart? Please try not to address me without a pic.

  39. kramer

    i’m scared for my life

  40. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Enough! I want to see Zoe Saldana. She not Sandra Bullock deserved an oscar for her Dancing with Smurfs movie.
    It’s refreshing that you post here someone not Ashkinazi, but please, at least have a bit of taste

  41. St Lou Jeff

    @42 LOL, best one yet.

    “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooghhhhhhh”
    “What’s that Chewie? You’re up 40-Love?”

    So is Serena and Venus’ dad going to admit their trannies after they retire or before?

  42. turd da third

    she should strap a big fin on her back before she gets into the water.

  43. dude

    for the record, that’s not me @37!!! but coincidently i’m also in fish’s corner.

    get over yourself you fags complaining about the fried chicken/grape soda bit. my one black friend calls me honk, and the spick next door calls me gringo. big fuckin deal.

    there was a time for sure i’d have done serena. right now she’s about as hot as tina turner. that said she could probly still snap r dicks off ridin em. makes me curious in a national geographic kinda way…oops is that ok to say?

  44. dude

    p.s. refering to tina today not like in the movie tommy when she was pretty cool

  45. frankiestage

    I’m an azz man, and Serena’s got a good enough azz for me. Once the azz is in place, we’re (anyone I’m dating) 70% home. Can she stand a little toning in the belly? Yeah. But other that that. And regardless of how some feel about her body, she can beat the sh*t out of you on the tennis court any time of the day.

  46. she is naked on my site.

  47. #77, with a name like GLENDA, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you’re one of those ugly, fat WHITE women.

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  49. Jen Ben

    She’s in great shape, losers.

    Looking thin does not equal athlete.

    Having fat around huge rippling muscles does not equal unhealthy. It does not equal lazy.

    She works out a lot. And is it a problem that she has no thin white blond genes to make her look cuter? No, because teeny little bodies with no muscle tone probably can’t handle her sport, and she kicks ass with her body type.

    I give her dibs for being fit and not a crack whore.

    So she’s not pretty. That’s fine. She didn’t invite her body to be scrutinized by paps like some self-obsessed celebrity. Might as well pick on your grandma if you take issue with Serena. There are billions of people who look worse than her.

    Live on girl!

  50. jslfksLOL

    According to Dave Chapelle, it is not grape soda. It’s grape DRINK. bitch!

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