Here’s Serena Williams in Miami yesterday and without fail I’m going to be called a racist simply because I don’t express an immediate need to intercourse her in the face like I would, say, Bar Refaeli. Which is bullshit when you ask yourself “Why haven’t Tiger Woods and Jesse James been on top of this?” Seriously, they spent the past five years treating the Earth like a private poon buffet, so don’t tell me this didn’t happen:
SERENA: Hey, Tiger Woods (Or Jesse James.), would you like to have extramarital sex?
TIGER (Or JESSE): No, thank you. I hate black chicks.
See? Now that’s racism. I just think she’s a manatee. Sort of like Brooke Hogan if she loved fried chicken and grape soda.