Selma Blair wants to feel good (In the sex way)

December 4th, 2007 // 74 Comments

Selma Blair did a little shopping at the new Kiki De Montparnasse lingerie store in L.A. where she told People that she recently broke up with her boyfriend:

Surrounded by lace slips and garter belts, the actress said her newly single status doesn’t lessen her love of lingerie. “I have a lot of it, but mostly for myself,” she said. “It just makes you feel beautiful.”
And that, incidentally, is also what she’s looking for in a man. “I want someone who makes me feel good,” she said, adding with a sly smile, “if you know what I mean.”

Wait a minute. Selma Blair is just sitting around by herself wearing lingerie and pining for a man. OnStar, take me to Selma Blair! OnStar? Hello? Where the hell is… Dude, OnStar, get out of the fridge! Are you drinking my beer? C’mon! Take me to Selma Blair. It’s important. Yes, important enough for me not to wear pants in the car. Look, can we just, I dunno, go back to how things used to be? You know, where you were a little box above my rear-view mirror that obeyed my every command. But this time don’t deploy the airbag in my face. I need to look sexy and not all Owen Wilson-nose’d up. May he rest in peace.

Photos: Pacific Coast News
superficial

  1. a doe

    i don’t care if I’m 1st, but I am…hee hee

  2. Krazee Eyez Killah

    schwing

  3. a doe

    i don’t care if I’m 1st, but I am…hee hee

  4. feg

    I thought she was married to one of the Zappa boys?? the bald one.

  5. Tapeworm

    Why are there pictures of an adolescent boy accompanying these pictures? I thought Blair was a woman?

  6. Jumpin_J

    Seriously, if you’re attracted to a woman who looks like Tom Cruise, that’s just plain creepy. That’s assuming Selma IS a woman! (place dramatic prairie dog music here).

  7. missj

    she looks like a big head little boy with that ugly hair cut

  8. Jumpin_J

    Seriously, if you’re attracted to a woman who looks like Tom Cruise, that’s just plain creepy. That’s assuming Selma IS a woman! (place dramatic prairie dog music here).

  9. Jumpin_J

    Seriously, if you’re attracted to a woman who looks like Tom Cruise, that’s just plain creepy. That’s assuming Selma IS a woman! (place dramatic prairie dog music here).

  10. Shallo Val

    I like this one too. She is totally built like an 11-year-old, but I like her attitude, her beautiful face, her weird “I’m so bored” voice, and well, I just like her. She seems cool to me.

  11. Shallo Val

    ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

    IF Y’ALL HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT THAT THERE IS A DELAY AND ONLY HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ….

    ****THERE’S A DELAY; PRESS SUBMIT BUTTON ONLY ONCE******

    Jesus, I figured that one out hours ago.

  12. fergernauster

    She just needs to add some meat to those starved bones and then she will feel completely better. In just about every way.

  13. haHA!!!
    There IS a delay. A riDICulous delay. I emailed the editor, but apparently they find torturing us to be a pretty fun game. On my mark, get set, click post your comment and see how fricken long it takes this time.

  14. I have an announcement!!!!
    I AM AN IDIOT!!!!
    the most disturbing part of this is the signs were there the whole time. I think I will go get my head examined for any sign of life.

  15. Not too bad this time, only like 10 seconds. Things are really looking up..

    Who the crap is this chick?

  16. RichPort

    The only thing attractive about this chick is the prospect of getting my Prince Albert stuck behind her uvula. And punching her on the side of the head to dislodge it.

  17. fergernauster

    No
    boobs
    at
    all.
    Wow.

  18. Shallo Val

    ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

    IF Y’ALL HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT THAT THERE IS A DELAY AND ONLY HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ….

    ****THERE’S A DELAY; PRESS SUBMIT BUTTON ONLY ONCE******

    Jesus, I figured that one out hours ago.

  19. Shallo Val

    ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

    IF Y’ALL HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT THAT THERE IS A DELAY AND ONLY HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ….

    ****THERE’S A DELAY; PRESS SUBMIT BUTTON ONLY ONCE******

    Jesus, I figured that one out hours ago.

  20. Shallo Val

    ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!

    IF Y’ALL HAVEN’T FIGURED OUT THAT THERE IS A DELAY AND ONLY HAVE TO PRESS THE SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE, I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ….

    ****THERE’S A DELAY; PRESS SUBMIT BUTTON ONLY ONCE******

    Jesus, I figured that one out hours ago.

  21. i 'd hit it

    she doesn’t look like a kid. shes kinda quirky, her face is pretty. i like her style.
    she looks fit and light, i could throw her around.
    i think she is ok.

  22. i 'd hit it

    she doesn’t look like a kid. shes kinda quirky, her face is pretty. i like her style.
    she looks fit and light, i could throw her around.
    i think she is ok.

  23. Texas Tranny

    Doesn’t everyone sit around in their lingerie? I know I do.

    Hey Val, is there a delay?

  24. Ally

    I HATE this new picture system. Why can’t I just click the fucking thumbnail and see that picture?? Grrrr…

  25. Jeezy

    This was probably the funniest little blurb you’ve written in a long time!

    Also, yes, the changes to this site all suck. All of them. Put it back to the way it was. If you’re doing this to drive up pageviews and advertising revenue, just know that the cooler of use Firefox with Adblock Plus, so we rarely if ever see all the fucking ads you’ve got around here.

  26. Chauncy Gardner

    Selma could have been attractive, if her hairline hadn’t conquered her forehead at an early age.

    You can’t see it here, but her forehead is about 3″ x 3″ of open skin, surrounded by a jungle of chimp hair. I can only imagine that her crotch looks like a nest of tarantulas.

  27. Gerald_Tarrant

    Que feo.

  28. Vick Puffs

    well said # 10.

  29. ME

    She’s a good looking 10 year boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Shallo Val

    DEAR TROLL, YOU’RE SLIP IS SHOWING……

  31. p0nk

    he looks familiar, i think he was in my jr. high gym class.

  32. Shallo Val

    Goddamned obvious mother fucker (laughs) you think these people think you are ME????? Sorry troll, not today.

    Am I right FRIST and Jimbo (holds hand up for high-five)

  33. Shallo Val

    TT – Now YOU my friend are funny AND original!

  34. Shallo Val

    26 – Oh Chauncey, I’ve missed your words. (sighs and makes eyes at chauncey)

  35. Anal Phlegm Munch

    I’d hit it.

  36. Anal Phlegm Munch

    I’d hit it.

  37. BBW is a con for fatties to feel better about being a fatty.

    Actually she is gorgeous, not really false looking – I like it.

  38. fergernauster

    She likes to flick her tizzler while churning anus butter.

    Tally-O!

  39. tired of fat woman thinking the because they are fat, that makes them better

    29 –
    not every woman has to have saddlebags and cottage cheese and be a depressed glutton who just sits on their ass and watches tv to be an attractive female.
    fat woman are jealous and quick to call a thin woman who enjoys something in life other than food a ” little boy “.
    was audrey hepburn also a little boy?

  40. Texas Tranny

    tizzler???? anus butter???? That’s pretty damn funny.

    Val,
    I just call it like I see it.

  41. amma

    …Hahahah…high five to the person who wrote she looks like Tom Cruise;) Yeah, she’s okay. But she is so not as pretty as she thinks she is–to have hair that short, you’d better have a beyond beautiful, flawless face. And she don’t. So, maybe grow a little hair and get a padded bra and then we’ll talk.

  42. Shallo Val

    40 you go gurl!

    Can you believe this girl is either 35 or 36?

  43. Sorry Val I was gone, here’s yer high five!!! (slap)

  44. holla@meh

    she looks like a dude. he-he. idk. maybe she should put a weave in. she might not look manly with long hair.

  45. Shallo Val

    40 you go gurl!

    Can you believe this girl is either 35 or 36?

  46. Texas Tranny

    Damn, I can’t believe she is that old.

    I need to get laid, anyone up for a mercy fuck?

  47. She’s hot, the dress is hot. Tom Cruise wishes he looked this good.

  48. yourmother

    39
    Short hair cut, like a boy
    No tits, like a boy
    No hips, like a boy
    Quacks like a duck…..
    Hmmm

  49. LayDeeBug

    46 how much is a flight from Newark to Texas

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