Selena Gomez’s Clothes Fit Really Well

Here’s Selena Gomez shooting Spring Breakers with Vanessa Hudgens in Miami yesterday which is completely useless information to you, so here are shots of her flashing her bra and a shot of her butt cheeks hanging out of her shorts. Because after indulging in political dickfoolery for my own personal amusement over the past 24 hours, the least I could do is cut to the chase by depressing the hell out of you with pics of what Justin Bieber gets to have sex with. Fortunately, he’ll be nailed to an Eggo-sponsored cross on his 32nd birthday. However, unfortunately, this will also make him America’s new messiah, replacing that boring Commie as the face of the new Republican Party. “And so, ladies and gentlemen of the senate, I ask you, does our currency not read ‘In Bieber We Lock And Pop?’ Then I implore you to turn with me to Book of Canada, Chapter 4. ‘For so did Selena totally breaketh Justin’s heart, and with a swish of his for realz cute hair, all girls of foreign blood were cast out to Slut Island. N slash J.’ From this passage, I don’t see how we can in good conscience allow said island to go un-nuked lest its sluttery infect our shores thus displeasing our Lord’s syrup eyes. J-Biebs be praised.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet