Selena Gomez is Craving Junk Food Now

June 16th, 2011 // 45 Comments

I’m 11.

Because announcing she’s suffering from nausea and low iron before motherly touching your belly during a public performance wasn’t enough, Selena Gomez is copping to junk food cravings and that her mom is by her side 24/7 now. People reports:

But referring to her “Supermom,” Gomez says she’s getting help doing what’s better for her body.
“She’s definitely shoving vitamins down my mouth and following me around,” she says of her mommy. “But at the same time, I was a stubborn kid, so I got to eat whatever I wanted. I have to have creamed spinach or cheese on my broccoli. I have to have something that makes it not healthy.”
Gomez’s favorite guilty pleasures? “I love M&Ms, Kit Kats, Snickers and Goobers at the movies,” she admits.

This is getting ridiculous. Next, she’s going to be spotted at a Babies ‘R Us eating pickles and ice cream, but I’m still not supposed to think Justin Bieber knocked her up because he’s “omnipotent” and “Canadian,” if I’m reading this e-mail from my lawyer right. Also, something about not feeding him after midnight, but I think that’s a typo.

Photos: Flynet


  1. Jackie

    Who photoshopped that tiny, awkwardly positioned hand in there?

  2. JC

    The blowjob face is strong with this one.

  3. catapostrophe

    She touched MY belly during a public performance? I don’t remember that, and am freaking out.

  4. Peter Shithead

    God she didnt say anything about craving junkfood at all fuck you

  5. and by m&ms she means folic acid supplements..?
    wonder if the baby will kick or just kinda pansy slap

  6. Richard McBeef

    her asshole makes the exact same face.

  7. Selena Gomez Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    “So I showed Bieber my “O” face.”

  8. Edge

    Please. If she was pregnant, to protect the Bieber’s squeaky clean image, she probably would have gone to an abortionist to kill the baby. I’m sure celebrities have done this under the radar before. It boggles the mind how many celebrities could be pro-choice yet never exercise that right, or never have that rumor spread about them.

    That said, this is why she’s telling the truth that she is not with child. If she was carrying a baby, she wouldn’t be telling people she’s not pregnant. If she lied to the media, the media will come back to bite her when she does give birth in 9 months. So, yes. She is not at this point pregnant. Was she a few weeks ago? That’s what the rumors are for. However, right at this moment, I would say she is no longer or at least not pregnant.

    • The x

      Yes. That’s exactly how seriously you should react to this gossip sites rumors, who he kind of admits himself is semi-serious. I don’t know, I just get the feeling Fish likes sarcasm.

      • The Critical Crassness

        There is a difference between sarcasm and outright bulllshit…I think Fish listened to the god, Charlie Sheen so long he lost sight of the difference. The chances of Selena having unprotected sex are absolutely infinitesimal due to her mother’s experience with teenage pregnancy. Then there is the fact that the Canadian Messiah probably still sleeps with his mommy to be considered since she is grooming him as God.
        However, people will continue to bash her because of all the Disney spawn she is the least likely to go astray and people just love to see the good ones fall even if it is in the imagination.

  9. PunkA

    I think what you meant to say is, after having been with little Bieber and his tiny bits, Selena is craving some real man junk.

  10. Mandy

    Creamed spinach and cheese on broccoli are unhealthy??

    • TomFrank

      Shhh…it’s part of Michelle Obama’s stealth campaign to get kids to eat more creamed spinach and broccoli in cheese sauce. Damn you, Democratic food nazis!

    • Bow Chica Wow Wow

      Now cheese and cauliflower, that’s awesome!

  11. AleisterCrowley

    She needs a man that’s gone thru puberty.He has the body of a seven yr old girl.

  12. Cardinal Fang

    She can have my meaty sausage any time. Small, but meaty.

  13. Sweetmoses

    Bieber’s “omnipotence” does not imply “impotence.” You called it, she’s totally preggers. Sounds like she ingested Bieber’s creamed spinach from the wrong end. (or right end depending on your pov)

  14. Gern vanden Penis

    I guess it’s a foregone conclusion that the Canadian boy took her virginity. But I will keep praying that she maintains her rectal purity.

  15. The x

    Heyy, let’s start a naming competition for that baby.

  16. Go Galt

    Insert d**k here.

  17. maeby

    creamed spinach is bad for you?

  18. MLVC

    she could shit out that junk food right into my mouth

  19. Anonymous

    A note to the music industry: Could you please start releasing some quality music and not this tripe? Thanks.

  20. If he knocked her up I’m going to lose it.
    Wait! Canadian Jesus? Someone get some four by fours. It’s time for a good old fashioned crucifiction!

  21. It’s a little late now to ask him to come in your mouth, honey.

  22. dork

    Put your junk in here

  23. Dan

    I wish beiber and gomez would join spencer and heidi.

    Enough of all of them!!!

  24. cc

    Just imagine Bieber sitting at his computer and seeing that pic *grabs phone*
    ‘Hey, it’s me’
    ‘I really need you to come over’
    ‘Ummm, let’s just say you won’t be doing a lot of talking’

  25. Selena Gomez Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Malls are where the best music is played. The best music for the best people, and everything is right with the world.

  26. The Original Shawn

    She loves Snickers and Goobers. I guess that explains all the making out with Justin Bieber in public.

  27. Faceit

    Face it, you roided up American losers haven’t got a chance when you’re losing your women to girlish Canadian boys. He he

  28. the captain

    she discovered what blowjobs can mean to producers & her own career!!!

  29. Veronica

    Fuck off. No one is hospitalised for eating kitkats. Do she and Blake Lively share a publicist?

  30. Canada Guy

    Yea, because 18 year olds realy have to watch what they eat. They are often hospitalized for eating poison like vegetables. Good thing mom is now there to keep evil stuff from entering her angelic mouth.

  31. Pedobear

    When the child is born, may I be the nanny? I am quite good with children!

  32. NightmareCentral

    Looks like they didn’t teach sex-ed in Beiber’s homeschool.

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