If Selena Gomez Isn’t Pregnant, How Do You Explain This Baby?

June 13th, 2011 // 87 Comments

I heard they named it Edward Cullen Gomez-Bieber.

Selena Gomez was rushed to the hospital Thursday night after complaining of nausea which sounds odd considering she spends her free time eating McDonald’s and watching the kid she lost her virginity to make faces like this. Anyway, apparently she’s been in and out of the hospital all weekend for tests, according to TMZ:

Sources tell us Gomez has undergone a number of tests for blood pressure issues, but so far … doctors have not been able to determine what is causing the problem.
Oh … as for the rumors going around she’s pregnant … totally untrue.

Wait. If it’s “totally untrue” she’s pregnant today, but it was totally true (in wild, speculative theory) she was on Friday… NO. Justin Bieber hates abortion. It’s at the top his list of Dislikes between Bullies and Rainy Days. Next, you’re going to tell me likes homework now. MY WHOLE WORLD IS A LIE!

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Arcachnar

    Thats family on Justin’s side. No child of them.

  2. In two years, she’ll be dating him.

  3. Burt

    Oh, it must be true if TMZ says is. Just like it was true that a 12 year-old could bully a 16 year-old. And that football player who says he had an affaire with Kim Bigarsian? He’s not participating in a publicity stunt for her TV show, he’s a jerk.

  4. the captain

    it’s easy: EVERYTHING IS FOR SALE IN CALIFORNIA!!

  5. fap

    It’s pretty obvious what’s going on – Justin’s drugging her so she doesn’t realise she’s missing out on her rebellious teenage years and being turned straight into good, childbearing Stepford Wife material at age 18. Note the momscarf. Wind back the dose just a little Justin (and next time make sure you get your doctors in there first to gloss over the situation before she has any more of these dangerous independant ideas like seeing her own doc).

  6. I’m just going to say this. I bet her snatch smells like strawberries.

  7. Honkey

    Bieber appears to have about as much athletic ability as Stephen Hawking… they even make similar faces.

  8. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Ponkur
    Commented on this photo:

    DEERRRP!

  9. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Eating McDonalds – I smell contrived product placement payment.

  10. TomFrank

    She spends her free time eating McDonald’s and now she’s in and out of the hospital for nausea all weekend…and you can’t make the connection?

    Oh, that’s right…McDonald’s advertises here.

  11. Daily Moisturizing

    Haha! A child can’t ruin my career. It’s not possible……What? Jamie Lynn who?

  12. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    truth.org
    Commented on this photo:

    SO Canadian.

  13. Maggie

    Either stories about disney kids attract the most idiotic tweens in the country, or the readers of this site are just losing their ability to grasp sarcasm.

    • Arcachnar

      I think the later is more possible. I know that this just making fun of her, but I just was not in the mood of it.

  14. Arcachnar

    If you people had paid some attention at biology lessons, you all should have known that you can’t have an abortion, at this stage of pregnancy. So it is impossible.

    Besides, it was food poisoning and exchausion.

  15. Oh! that’s just the Bieb sitting on her lap! he just got himself a new outfit and hair cut…so tender, LOL

  16. matt

    he got a yellow card playing soccer and a green card playin Selena

  17. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    oh please let this be a high speed video capture of a ball going the speed of sound…

  18. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Captain Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap, he mastered telekinesis too?

  19. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Charlotte
    Commented on this photo:

    lol has she never seen a nugget, whats happening here? lol

  20. Terron

    I have to say that the title of this article has me cracking up.

  21. Tyggrrrrr

    Being the gentleman that I am, I´ll just say that Selena is one of the few girls I´d bang and still stick around in the morning to treat her to some McD´s (Subway just doesn´t make good breakfasts, but I digress) and a morning quickie…I´m too classy

  22. mya

    wow cool

  23. alexandria

    is that your baby

  24. DavidH

    Shame on y’all of Selena is not pregnant, lesbian couples can’t get pregnant.

    She just had a very bad case of beaver fever xD

  25. MrsBloom

    REALLY?!?! This is so stupid! She could’ve been babysitting, with family and friends, or who knows; people are always giving her children to hold so they could take pictures! This is such an idiotic thing to do, they’re just wasting people’s time!!!

  26. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    macmac
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is the face Justin made when he took off his chastity belt and got Selena knocked up.

  27. Nun Ya

    Umm,,, Maybe its a relatives baby?! Just becuase shes holding a baby doesnt mean its hers .. I mean really?!

  28. Ellen

    Fish, I just read all of today’s posts, and I have to say that I haven’t laughed out loud that much in a while. You and your writers were on a roll today. Edward Cullen Gomez-Bieber….lol.

  29. Caitlin

    its Jaxon Bieber, Justin’s brother…while Justin was playing soccer in Canada, she was on the sidelines cheering for him, and of course, the family was there and Selena loves Justin’s brother and sister sooo yeah, if she was pregnet, why wasnt her belly the size of a beach ball?

  30. Kassie

    Omg Selena and Justin just broke up no lie e news Confirmed that she sent a text saying it’s over between us Justin why brake his heart

  31. misha

    is this true

  32. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    “ugh do I HAVE to touch this hand? is it clean? Yo Selena get me a baby wipe”

  33. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    moosllins
    Commented on this photo:

    HURR DURR

  34. vickii

    i like how you guys think that that is selena and justin baby but its not that is JAXSON BIEBER justin bieber half brother get your fact right

  35. Jeanie

    I honestly think that Selena Gomez is not pregnant!! she’s only like 16! and its obvious that Justin bieber isn’t the “father” cause he’s a kid!

  36. Dani

    that not hers
    COME ON

  37. Selena Gomez Pregnant Justin Bieber
    Ally
    Commented on this photo:

    Dumb-ass, if she was supposedly “pregnant,” the baby would still be inside her.

  38. Ella nour

    justin bieber is a mother fucking king of gays she could never do that she just had a beaver fever

  39. Damien

    Look up “ectopic pregnancy”. It would explain a lot.

  40. Alison

    Dude that baby could hav been her cousin or brother or anything but it’s not her son. if it were she would hav been fat nd I could hav pointing at her nd laugh nd call her names. The bìtch just had food poisoning that’s all if she were prego she would hav been throwing up nd eat alot!!! Ok so calm down ppl……

  41. Alicia

    that is defently not selena and justins baby dah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I
    I LOVE Selena but i hate justin bieber !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. zac

    Even though I am a P3 but I know that is not Selena’s son or Justin’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. boobie

    yo i belive that is your baby but dah nottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
    and also i hope selena not justin to come to hong kong yooooooooooo(yo):)
    and remember to call 96573974 or 74305830 thank you for enjoying the dumest thing EVER OH me and my friend are only P.4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  44. Jimmy

    man… if that’s really her baby than it’s that baby very lucky!!!! i mean: a baby needs milk, milk comes from boobies, so he has to suck her tits for milk!! or he van suck the tit without the milk!!?? man i wish i was that baby:P

  45. Dookie Dookie head

    That baby could hav been anything but not selenas baby. If it were hers she would been fat nd I would hav been pointing nd laughing at her. And she would hav been pukeing nd eating alot!!! Nd Justin nd Selena dont hav blonde hair!!!

  46. claulovetwilight

    yuck!!!! bieber and selena combined???? i wonder how that baby will look like

  47. BieberFever

    That is Jaxon Bieber. She was in Canada with Justin for his little sister Jasmyn’s birthday. And the next day he was playing a game of soccer or “football” and she was holding him. SELENA GOMEZ ISN’T HAVING A BABY AND HAS NEVER HAD ONE!

  48. aniyah

    Hi u my favorite singer

  49. Jeremy

    THIS IS A PIECE OF POOP!! DONT LISTEN 2 IT THAT BABY LOOKS AT LEAST 2!!!! WE WOULD OF HEARD ABOUT THIS A AS SOON AS SOON AS IT WAS BORN! AND ANYWHO THERE 2 YOUNG!

  50. Tori

    That is not there baby! Wow some people must get so freaking bored and make up such BIG lyes! ALSO HOW IS IT THAT OLD ALREADY THEN!??! IF SHE WAS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN KNOWN ABOUT ALONG TIME AGO!

Leave A Comment