Selena Gomez Is Banging Orlando Bloom

April 3rd, 2014 // 31 Comments
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Considering Miranda Kerr cheated on Orlando Bloom with Justin Bieber, it seems only fair that he’d get to bang Selena Gomez, and so he is much to the dismay of #BBare. Via Hollywood Life:

Justin Bieber, 20, is furious over Selena Gomez, 21, allegedly flirting with Orlando Bloom. The Biebs is used to being “king of the hill” when it comes to his lady-love’s affections, so this latest interaction between Selena, and Orlando must be a huge slap in the face to the troubled pop bad-boy.
Selena and Orlando recently participated in the We Day California conference on March 26. The 21-year-old singer gave a moving speech and later, backstage, posed with Orlando and Seth Rogen — who has been one of Justin’s biggest haters.

When reached for comment King Murple Surple Joffery Bizzle Bare reportedly slammed down his grape soda and refused to answer any questions about, “no LEGO lists” before referring to himself as “a Mega Bloks mothafucka” who builds “castles in dem panties.” A spokesperson elaborated that he gets like this before a nap and suggested coming back at a later time with some juice boxes. Preferably Juicy Juice unless “you want to see what it’s like getting shot in the face while holding a 10-pack of Minute Maid.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

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  1. Why is there a picture of Bruce Jenner with this post?

  2. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Woody Allen
    Commented on this photo:

    I like this picture

  3. CrashHell

    Well that’s a step in the right direction.

  4. brick

    Good on ya, mate!

  5. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Um…this is awkward.

  6. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Son, where your face is…that’s your point of origin. Sshh…don’t say a word…just stand here with your face in my crotch…while we have this special moment as father and son.

  7. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see how you might think it’s Selena Gomez, but I’m pretty sure that’s an actual toddler-faced toddler resting their head on Bloom’s junk.

  8. MarketingMike

    Bieber to Bloom, makes sense.
    They are almost the same person.
    Both deliver Powerful 3″ peens (fully engorged),
    and both are shorter, with less body hair than Selena

  9. First Miranda and then Selena! Damn you Orlando!

  10. Payback’s a what-now?

  11. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Renzomatic
    Commented on this photo:

    Mason Disick/Kardashian has to earn his own keep, and since sex tapes started his sister’s careers, he’s just simply following the family tradition.

  12. buzz

    I actually like the rumors of Selena being a raging alcoholic with wine stains on her shorts better.

  13. Gen

    That baby has some crazy-good genes, but can you imagine how fucked up he’s going to be with a slutty mom like Miranda Kerr? That’s like, East of Eden-level whorishness that the kid’s going to have to reckon with…

  14. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Not wise to crush children to your crotch with cameras around. If you’re a celebrity that’s gonna get you your very own SW blog post.

  15. She’s 16 years younger than him. That’s one entire Kylie Jenner younger than he is.

  16. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    nomnomnom
    Commented on this photo:

    In his best Ozzy Ozborne voice, “ALL ABOARD, AH HA HA HA”

  17. Orlando’s definitely a step up from Beiber. Stick with it Selena.

  18. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    The real reason Bruce Jenner left Kris.

  19. Hey, I had a pleasant conversation with a grocery store check-out girl today. Does that mean we’re bangin? Cool!

  20. D-chi

    “Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?”

    “Sizzurp, maple syrup, and childlike petulance.”

  21. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing that’s his son. At least, it had better be.

  22. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Jenner dyed his hair?

  23. selena goez just isn’t attractive at all. butterface and her legs are also hideous. weak, and scrawny they are.

  24. Orlando Bloom Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Mr. Fahrenheit
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn, Ozzy! Your plastic surgeon is a genius!

  25. Coco T-Rex

    So it turns out that Selena Gomez decided to follow the faux-lesbian path to fame just like Amber Heard.

  26. Pete Kerl

    Does this mean that she won’t be acting because she can suck of of Orlando’s money? I think that would be very kind of her to consider NEVER ACTING AGAIN because she totally sucks because she’s such a shitty actress. She’s really a massive trite fucking cunt . She needs to stay at home and jiggle-flap the stinky Clam-Vaj instead of STINKING-UP a film with her Twat-Trite-Monotone acting or Puckering-up her Stinky-Anus-Button and Blasting Ass-Vaj-Diarrhea-Farts into the Faces of the acting profession! Her Gigantic-Gash-Squirt fucks movies because shes a little Bitch-Trite-Narcissistic-Cunt…

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