The 2013 MTV Movie Awards

The 2013 MTV Movie Awards were last night and literally all you need to know is Selena Gomez looked phenomenal/was the only one from Spring Breakers who showed up while Jennifer Lawrence’s breasts didn’t even bother, Melanie Iglesias suddenly became important, Snooki and JWoww looked like goddamn wax monsters, and everyone’s supposed to believe Aubrey Plaza got drunk and was kicked out after trying to Kanye Will Ferrell’s speech. Then again, drunk people are notorious for legibly writing the name of their new movie on their chest right side up, so perhaps this was one of those wild, unscripted moments you never know is going to happen on MTV. Ha! Those ne’er-do-wells and their shenanigans. *closes garage door, starts car*

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