Selena Gomez is reportedly suffering from lupus – it’s always lupus – so here she is going on a Segway ride with Justin Bieber (and here) because if there’s one person who will be sensitive to her at her darkest hour, it’s Whorebang McSyrupdawg.
“Justin, thank you so much for seeing me. I’ve just been-”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s ride Segways! That shit is TIGHT.”
“Okay… but will you ride next to me so we can talk?”
“Sure, girl, sure. *hops on, takes off* PSYCHE!”
“Justin! I’m really, really sick.”
*circles back around* “Yo, for real? Like hospitals and shit?”
“DAYAMN. … So we’re not fucking, today are we?”
“I’mma record an album. PEACE.”
Ahh, young love, what can’t it heal?