If I Could Ask God One Question, It’s Why The Hell Did You Let Justin Bieber Have Sex With This?

August 16th, 2013 // 30 Comments

Here’s Selena Gomez performing in Vancouver last night where apparently she added sexy rope shit to her show just in case everyone wasn’t sure how awesome her body is and that Justin Bieber had absolutely no fucking business going near it. Except, wait, hold on. I’ve just been handed new information that makes me regret everything I’ve ever said about Justin Bieber not being a hardass motherfucker. His street credentials check out now. We’re good here:

Justin Bieber Will Smith

It don’t get blacker than that, amirite, homey? Gimme daps.

Photos: Instagram / Splash News


  1. rican

    1) Those white pants belong to justin.

    2) Like O.J., Will Smith stopped being black a few decades ago.

  2. Didn’t know Usher shared his bitches…swell guy.

  3. Yeah, supra-retarded, maybe.

  4. Smapdi

    Oh come on, if it wasn’t for women having low standards, no one reading this would get laid.

  5. Selena Gomez Tour Outfits
    Commented on this photo:

    Cleanup in aisle my office.

  6. Batu Khan

    The short answer, Fish, is that God is a cruel sadistic bastard who enjoys tormenting people by letting just a few others have a great time just to let you know what you can’t have. The fact these few people are usually also douchebags is just the twist of the knife in your back because God doesn’t like to do half work.

  7. You’re assuming, of course, that Justin was able to get Ms Gomez naked, and prone, and willing…all of which is doubtful..she’s doing whatever she’s doing with Beibs as an ill advised career move…meanwhile, Justin has probably had so many mother/daughter tag teams on the road that he’s likely lost count…


    “sexy rope shit”…”awesome body”…well fuck me for remembering when grown-ups made actual music and played real instruments instead of dipshit teens doing karaoke through a robot voicebox.

    • “Dipshit teens doing karaoke through a robot voicebox.” That about sums it up.

    • Batu Khan

      Your point is absolutely valid. But it’s hard to make fun of actually talented people. Sadly, these dipshits do serve a purpose. Where else could we find a beacon of safe harbor to vent all contempt we feel about the eternal frozen wasteland that is life. So, really Justin Bieber is just a spiritual crap hole we can all shit our pain in. I can live with that.

  9. Bieber’s gonna be inducted into the Scientology cult any day now.

    • dancing bear

      Even destructive cults like Scientology have standards. He may be too much of a douche even for them.

  10. Has it ever been confirmed that he actually had sex with her? I choose to believe not.

    It is amazing how far you can get when you are pretty and charismatic considering he can’t sing, dance or act to save her life. You look at Ariana Grande, she can sing, but Selena, she is just awful, like dogs howling awful.

    • Also, who is kidding who about her being particularly attractive? You give me a map of Chili’s locations and a dart, I’ll show you four better looking women.

  11. Dina Lohan

    Selena Gomez has the face of a five or six year old little girl. It’s creepy as fuck, she’s a pedophile’s dream come true… think about that the next time you’re jerking to her pics, I hope it ruins it for all of you, haha

  12. Selena Gomez Tour Outfits
    Commented on this photo:

    Quite an elaborate stage. I didn’t know Canada had state fairs.

  13. You forgot to say first. He likely had sex with her first. It’s like being the first person to ride a unicorn.

    • Why do you assume that if he did have sex with her that he was the first? I assume she had other boyfriends, I think she dated the guy that was on her show with her, and knowing these Disney/Nickelodeon execs, you can’t rule out that she slept with one of them either.

  14. I sincerely doubt he ever had sex with her. A pure publicity relationship.

  15. Sorry, but this bitch does and always will look as if she’s 10 years old in the face..

  16. Selena Gomez Tour Outfits
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank God for the ropes, it appears she slipped on maple syrup

  17. As far as hot chicks go, I could do without this one. I like when hot people who re talentless present themselves as such, not these infants who think they’re so amazing that fans would drink their gonorrhoea and be happy about it.
    Anything that fucks Bieber to gain fame points should be dipped into his piss bucket.

    • emma watson's vagina

      while I wouldn’t kick her out of bed. I wouldn’t run after her either. she just proves the old Hollywood standard it not what you know it’s who you blow.

      if you could hook up with an ex-hooker,porn star and/or stripper then you could hook up with this.

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