Selena Gomez Ain’t Ever Gonna Roll On #BBare

March 12th, 2014 // 29 Comments
BBare: Attorney At Law
Justin Bieber Deposition
Y'All Just Deposed Da Wrong Nigga Read More »

Dare seems to be a recurrent theme dat Selena Gomez will one day roll on my boy B-Bare bringin’ down his criminal empire when he ain’t even begun to rule dis world like iron-fisted gangsta he was born to be. Except nuny’all are takin’ into account that my boy called her an elegant princess. ELEGANT. PRINCESS. Her panties done squirted to the moon, and she is now his foreva. Bonded together by da most bootiful words ever spoken by one one man to one woman in da heat of passion. Bitch done hopped on a plane and flew right to his dick not even a day later. Mothafucka’s like a pussy hypnotist which is why dese lawyers and judges are out of dare minds if they think B-Bare’s princess will ever stop riding dat throne:

Selena Gomez allegedly knows all about Justin Bieber’s predisposition for violence — especially violence directed at paparazzi — and that’s why the lawyer for the photog who’s suing the singer asked about her.
Attorney Mark DiCowden, who grilled Justin like a cheeseburger last Friday in Miami … claims in new legal docs he asked Justin about Selena because she had witnessed Justin attacking a photog in May, 2012.
It’s pretty clear the lawyer claims the attack is relevant in showing Justin’s M.O. … so he says the questions about Selena were appropriate. As you know, Justin went nuclear, ripped off his mic and walked out of the deposition after Selena was mentioned.

You’re gotdamn right my boy dropped that mic and told y’all to fuck yo’selves. Nobody axes him questions about his princess. NOBODY. Plus y’all think she’s gonna open dem legs if she finds out he’s out dare crackin’ skulls and straight up regulatin’? Shit’s none of her damn business, so why y’all messin’ up his swerve game? Does B-Bare come into your house and tell yo’ girl all da stupid shit you do when she ain’t around? No, of course not. He ain’t ever been about dat. So he gonna make y’all a deal: Just fo’get all dis Selena Gomez business and maybe at the next Johnny Deppsition he won’t lawyer your dicks off right in front of your cracker faces. And before y’all say, “wait, brothas can’t be lawyers,” dat shit’s racist. B-Bare won’t have it. He didn’t go to community college with Stringer Bell to put up with it. He won’t.

Click Here For More Justin Bieber Deposition Videos

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Bill Bass

    I love both her chins

  2. A wigger gotta represent. Peace out!

  3. Like I said, she’s written off. She’s encouraging this bullshit.

  4. Cock Dr

    I’ve got plenty of Selena Gomez questions for the B-Bare…I ain’t scared. Let’s start with this one: when she pretends to have an orgasm does she make a lot of noise?

  5. AteIsEnough

    I guess she’s more dumb than I gave her credit for. But, like the typical young flash in the pan, she probably isn’t too bright but rather has a better manager / publicist. Better at hiding her fuck-ups!

  6. Dear God who I promise I’ll start believing in if this happens,

    Please visit a good case of antibiotic-resistant necrotizing fasciitis on this narcissistic tool. It can start at the face or the dick, just so long as things start rotting off him. I ask this not only in Your name because you got some serious atonement to do for creating this colossal fuckwit and foisting him on us, but in the name of the innocent who would otherwise be forced to empty mop buckets full of his piss and then still have to use the mop, and in the name of the blameless who would otherwise become hood ornaments on whatever random Lamborghini he would otherwise be behind the wheel of. Selena has free will and is old enough to make whatever stupid decisions she wants, like pork chops for breakfast, but the rest of us who know where the crotch on our pants belongs truly don’t deserve this. I’d ask what the fuck did Canada ever do to you, but I don’t want to overreach here.

    Amen and sorry in advance about any upcoming Easter jokes,

    • I would also settle for a severe case of Bell’s palsy so it looked as though he were winking at the world forever. Stamp the irony into his face. He truly is an abomination. And the lawyers in those videos are nincompoops as well.

  7. Selena Gomez Midriff Adidas NEO Commercial
    Just Wanna Know
    Commented on this photo:

    The only detail I want to know about their relationship is how big was the strap-on she used on him.

  8. j/k

    EsGo is now an official hoodrat. I predict 2014 will be her year for bad decisions. Next we’ll see some really bad tattoos. Then an “edgy” slutty video (looking forward to this one). Followed by a public announcement defending Bieb and claiming complete sobriety. Finally ending the year back in rehab.

  9. I make a lot of jokes about people with IQs of 85, but in this case, I think she literally might have an IQ in that range. She is really not a very intelligent individual.

  10. Gomez, urshur, whatever, none of these people are going to roll on the Biebs in this lawsuit. They just want excuses to subpeona everybody indirectly connected and get that out of court settlement underway.

  11. eh

    If he pisses in a lawyer’s face, he will win the nation’s heart back. Do it, BBare.

  12. GLT

    Anyone else sick of the fucking Bebonics? Fish, knock it the hell off already. It’s old, tired and not funny anymore.

  13. Edvard Munch

    She’s less attractive now that she’s back with %BbAre

  14. Selena Gomez Midriff Adidas NEO Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently nobody enjoys the sight of SelGo’s abs more than herself.

  15. Selena Gomez Midriff Adidas NEO Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    As I wrote earlier, apparently nobody enjoys the sight of SelGo’s abs more than herself.

  16. Inner Retard

    - You all know exactly who I am. Say my name!
    *voice in the next restroom stall* Bieber!
    - You’re goddamn… Wait, what?!

  17. Selena Gomez Midriff Adidas NEO Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    Sit ups, honey, situps…

  18. What are you talking about?? There’s a roll right above her pants!

  19. Bieber is only marginally more cognitively developed than lice, true. Same for Selena. But I was also struck by how incompetent the lawyers were in this video.

  20. Selena Gomez Midriff Adidas NEO Commercial
    Commented on this photo:

    I would fill her belly button with so much cum after railing her non-stop for hours…

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