Selena Gomez Got Implants (Probably)
A few weeks ago, there was a rumor flying around that Selena Gomez was getting implants so Justin Bieber would finally stop banging her friends, random models, and overly fertile female fans. And now here she is in New York looking depressingly more chestier. And I say depressingly because Jesus Christ, woman, you put them in the wrong place! The kid likes asses. Big, giant, gross asses. For God’s sake, his dipshit mom let him near Kim Kardashian before he even hit puberty. You don’t come back from that.