Selena Gomez Banged Haze Banga

Before I get accused of thinking all black dudes look the same, this is Lawrence Fishburne Nick Cannon Benson? Hit-Boy in Mexico with Selena Gomez where she reportedly hooked up with his producer Haze Banga who was quoted as saying, “Beef, beef, camel toe, I’mma Haze Bang dat like Hamburger Helper.” (Never, ever do that again? On it.) In Touch Weekly reports:

Selena recently went on a getaway to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, with Haze and a group of friends but the source says she may have ulterior motives.
“One of the reasons she’s hanging out with Haze is to make [her ex, Justin Bieber] jealous,” the insider reveals to ‘In Touch,’ explaining that Justin has been dying to work with the hit maker on a new track.

And why wouldn’t this make Justin Bieber jealous? Do you know how much money he’d pay to be a black guy having sex with Selena Gomez? No, seriously, I’m asking. I’ve got all this shoe polish and a hare-brained scheme that just might work this time. *strokes chin* It just might work…

Photo: Instagram