Selena Gomez Fired Her Parents

April 11th, 2014 // 21 Comments
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Because she’s a big girl now who can make big girl decisions like getting back together with Justin Bieber for the 18th time even though he’s an awful little shithead who got her subpoenaed right in front of the paparazzi, Selena Gomez has officially fired her parents. TMZ reports:

We’re told Selena feels she’s outgrown her parents. She believes she’s now old enough — and famous enough — to have a seasoned professional manager with other A-list clients.
Selena has argued plenty with her parents over the direction of her career — not to mention over dating Justin Bieber — but we’re told family friction was NOT the reason for the split. We’re told Selena remains close with both of her parents, although they’re not happy about the decision.

In Selena Gomez’s defense, her parents really did do a terrible job managing her career because Justin Bieber is still alive and not buried underneath their pool with a shotgun wound to the face. It’s like they wanted her to fail.

Photos: Getty / INFphoto


  1. I never realised Ryan Gosling was her dad.

  2. I guess we can expect a slippery slide down the Miley-Diddling-Ride to infamy.

    On a side-note, they should make that an actual ride. not at universal but at like somewhere sketchy like Busch Gardens or something. A rackety roller coaster entering a plywood mockup of Miley’s Vag spread and being diddled with a foam finger…Oo OO or a mini golf course, same concept. This is gold ideas people. Solid Gold.

  3. Max

    If only she were talented like other A-listers. But she can’t sing (without a studio full of equipment behind her) and she really really really can’t act.

    Now, if it were porn A-listers, then yeah, I’d be happy for her to join their ranks. Where’s the suggestion box?

  4. She\s still totally flabby.

  5. Selena Gomez Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Even a little ass when packaged just right….looks so good

  6. Selena Gomez Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d gnaw on them buns

  7. whocares

    That’s her stepfather

  8. rodzilla

    I used to think that Selena was different, what with the whole clean-cut image, and the lack of wardrobe malfunctions. Lately, though, I am positive that she ran afoul of a group of zombies, late one night, who ate her b-r-a-I-n-s.

  9. dad

    …I mean, look at this picture
    she is clearly not old enough.

  10. She should be on her knees thanking them everyday for getting her as far as she has considering she can’t sing, can’t act, can’t dance, is dumb as a box of rocks and has a flat ass. I am truly baffled as to how she got as far as she has.

  11. “…other A-list clients.”

    Oh, Jesus Christ. If Selena Gomez is on the fucking A-List, that mop bucket Bieber pissed in must be at least B or C.

  12. If I am remembering correctly, over at, Gomez was the major guess for a blind in recent months about a starlet who has been battling drug and alcohol addiction who has been firing staff who have been pushing for and distancing herself from her family because they want her to seek treatment.

  13. anonym

    i see she’s got her mom’s face

  14. kery

    She looks like her mom. I think Selena should consider her family advices in order to be fine ’cause They want her to be good ;P

  15. tlmck

    As long as this results in Selena getting naked, I’m OK with it.

  16. buzz

    “A-List Clients” LOL

    This chick’s career is tanking fast. The JB/drugs/alcohol rumors are just ending it even quicker.

    She better pull a Jessica Biel and superglue her ass to JB until he marries her to stay relevant.

  17. Selena Gomez Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    now that she has left him , now she needs something big thick and back to stretch that little Latino pussy

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