Selena Gomez Fake Reading to Kids in a Park

If you needed any more indication that Selena Gomez’ public life is completely fabricated by The Man in order to sell sweatshirts and concert tickets, well… you’re an idiot—it’s been blatantly obvious since her first arranged fuckbuddyship with Justin Bieber. Today TMZ shared this video of Selena Gomez walking into a park to sit on a swing and read to a little girl. She strolls onto a playground in high heels with her friend (also in heels), a guy who looks like Jonathan Banks, and gaggle of bloodthirsty paparazzi. It’s not fishy at all and a totally normal thing that normal people like her do to because it’s normal and stuff…

(I can’t put it here because I guess TMZ is being a greedy asshole, but you can watch it over there.)

If you watched it, welcome back. If you didn’t… well you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about.

The way Selena approaches this kid’s mom kind of reminds me of the way I meet someone on Craigslist to buy a couch.

“Hi, are you the one with the cute kid?”
“Yes, I’m Susan. Thanks for replying to my ad looking for a famous person to make my kid look interesting.”
“No problem, is it cool if I pay cash? What did we agree on, was it $25?”

**Persuasion attempt failed.**
“It was $30… and cash is fine.”

Lastly, who the hell is this paparazzi taking this video? Is this his first day on the job or something? He whines like a kid who can’t get a turn on his brother’s Nintendo Switch. Will someone please let him know that the answer is “no, you don’t need a fucking flash in the middle of the day when you’re outside.”

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