God Wants Selena Gomez Dead

October 18th, 2011 // 46 Comments

A 46-year-old Seattle man is apparently receiving instructions from God to murder Selena Gomez, so just assume she got to close to the truth about the His fling with Aunt Jemima and the resulting love-child. Big G love that dark maple syrup. TMZ reports:

According to the declarations of Selena and her lawyer, Blair Berk … Brodnicki told the shrink he traveled from Chicago to L.A. to meet her, visited her workplace at least 3 times and has told people he had conversations with God about killing her. Selena says she is in “extreme fear,” believing he will carry out his death threat against her if he isn’t stopped.
Selena and her lawyer claim Brodnicki was picked up for mental evaluation last month after he allegedly threatened to “scratch people’s eyes out on the street.” Brodnicki allegedly made the threats against Gomez during his mental evaluation.

Maple Child jokes aside, it’s probably not a coincidence these death threats happened shortly after Selena released her promo for the 2011 MTV EMAs (after the jump) because Jesus Christ. I dare you to watch this thing and not hear the Lord’s voice beckoning you to kill each and every person responsible starting with YouTube’s face. I’m actually religious now. Bring me a gay person and I’ll whip this Bible at them so good. So good.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. cc

    She was in Vancouver at the same time as Shia…why didn’t she beat his ass? I’d buy that on DVD.

  2. No…God wants Selena naked. on the internets. He told me this morning. so yeah selena time to follow god’s plan for you

  3. cc

    BTW, I watched the promo after my first post. Holy shit that promo is annoying and stupid. Looking on the bright side though, they didn’t invite Biebs to attend. Maybe he’s still hanging from that basketball net.

  4. Deli

    You are right, after watching that video all I can think about is murder

    • Dan

      +1

      Although I think a fate worse than murder for Selena Gomez would be for everyone to simply ignore her and not talk about her. She would probably end it herself before long if she though no one was paying attention and never would.

  5. Frank Burns

    While I’m not a fan of Ms. Gomez – I basically only know about her from this site – I don’t like to see any woman terrorized by a lunatic bent on homicide. At least she has some resources to defend herself.

    As for her video, what the hell was that? Is she trying to perpetuate a Latino stereotype of some sort? I thought the ‘two identities’ thing was Miley Cyrus’s shtick anyway. And does anybody know what the MtvEMA is? If it has something to do with music, it probably shouldn’t be on Mtv, that much is certain.

  6. Ang

    A disgrace to every Chola…

  7. God Wants Selena Gomez Dead?

    Seems like god and I finally agree on something. This could be the common ground that god and I have needed to form a bond…maybe this will give me the chance to have a heart to heart discussion with him about why he’s such a dick.

  8. Lock that crazy fuckbag up and flush the key.

  9. Buddy the Elf

    Cute girl.
    The only negative is the 65 pound homo usually attached to her arm.

  10. Venom

    She is so hot, a damn shame that her singing is so damn terrible.
    What the hell was that video? It was utter shit.

  11. Interesting. So God wants Selena dead. Sounds like a million other parents who don’t like the person their child is dating. Sounds to me like the Maple Jesus needs to have a talk with pops.

  12. Swearin

    On the one hand, it’s nice to see her embracing her inner chola. On the other hand, I blame Nicki Minaj and autotune for making every young girl think they can rap.

    Is it wrong that I want to see upscale Selena and hoodrat Selena get it on with each other?

  13. I’m pretty lukewarm about the whole “Selena Gomez being alive or dead” thing, but let’s get one thing straight… Aunt Jemima is NOT maple syrup.

  14. Jillia

    What’s with the shoulder length blunt cut? Was SuperCuts running a sale?

    Diggin the dress though. ;)

  15. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    Jillia
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the shoulder length blunt cut? Was SuperCuts running a sale?

    Diggin the dress though. ;)

  16. Greg Marmalard

    On the other hand , I want her in my bed!

  17. CranAppleSnapple

    Her face look so weird in that first shot. Like a frog. With a learning disability.

  18. CranAppleSnapple

    looks :)

  19. freaky

    I like the non-ghetto version. The chica is the mirror scares me a little.

  20. anonym

    her face looks chubby and chunky here.

    she’s not going to age well.

    enjoy youth while you can

  21. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    DKNY
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn that’s nice.

  22. moe

    All I can think of is the original Selena. The one who was killed by that Mexican lady.

  23. Arzach

    This is how I read the title:
    “God! I want Selena Gomez to give me head!”
    Yeah, I know I’m disgusting.

  24. marcus unwellby

    but… can he get her BEFORE she spawns the canadian devil’s bahbee?

    i wonder…

  25. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    D-chi
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this stupid dress.

  26. lili

    Is the glittery arm a direct result of sleeping with Maple Child the Saviour, or did she just watch “Twilight” too many times?

  27. crazyhater

    I HATE SELENA GOMEZ!!!!!!! NO NOT FOR JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!!!!!!! FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE DATES THE MOST POPULAR BOYS IN HOLLYWOOD RIGHT WHEN THEY GET REAL POPULAR!!!!!! SHE COPIES FAMOUS STARS!!!!!!! SHE CAN’T SING CAUSE SHE’S AUTOTUNED! AND FANS…DON’T HATE ON MY COMMENT SO I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT ME!!!! I’M GONNA KEEP HATING!!

  28. Caisey

    U r so mean dude.I love her.Justin beiber sucks!!!

  29. Salina

    I love her!!

  30. Repunzel

    If g-d really does wanna kill her he can cause he is g-d!!!!!

  31. Astrid

    Omg

  32. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    She is hot for near jailbait. In 5 years I think Ill be able to say aloud shes hot without feeling like a perv.

  33. Becca

    I like selena but i do not at all like justin beiber.

  34. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:

    She sure fills out a dress nicely.

  35. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    B L Zebubba
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lips sure do look purdy.

  36. Selena Gomez Death Threat
    zoe
    Commented on this photo:

    love u selena g

  37. Patricia

    i

  38. bobo rag

    i love you selena peace out to my peeps holar

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