Taylor Swift’s Trying To Bang Selena Gomez!
Okay, that headline might seem like sensationalistic click-bait, but I honestly don’t know how else you read this Selena Gomez quote without getting the impression that Taylor Swift wants to passionately tongue her vagina in a Brooklyn brownstone while Karlie Kloss watches from a window, her jealously steaming in the nighttime rain. E! News reports:
“Taylor has been begging me to live there,” Gomez said. “She’s like, ‘It’s the best decision I’ve ever made.’ Everyone always says I’m more New York when they meet me so maybe it would be good for me. I don’t spend enough time there.”
See? She might as well have said Taylor Swift keeps sending her photos of her fist. I can’t be the only one getting that impression and doodling it onto any flat surface I can find. Why can’t I get her eyebrows right?