Selena Gomez Changed Her Number So Justin Bieber Can’t Call Her

Right off the bat, remember these pics of Selena Gomez’s nipples? They’re the highlight of this almost entirely pointless post, so don’t say I’m not looking out for your time. You were warned.

According to Us Weekly, Selena Gomez has reportedly taken drastic measures to cut Justin Bieber out of her life, yet somehow none of them involving repeatedly firing a gun into his open mouth like I keep writing in my letters. Women, right?

The 24-year-old “Same Old Love” singer, whose on-again-off relationship with Bieber, 22, began in 2011, “changed her phone number,” a Gomez insider reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She told everyone not to give it to him.”
The impetus: a mid-August argument over Instagram in which Gomez told Bieber to stop posting photos of him and girlfriend Sofia Richie if he couldn’t “handle the hate” from jealous fans. “It should be special between you two only,” she wrote on his post. Bieber then allegedly accused Gomez of cheating. “Oh I forgot about You and Zayn?” he reportedly commented, apparently implying she had been unfaithful with former One Direction member Zayn Malik.

Of course, in this day and age, how effective is changing your phone number when Justin Bieber can still send her a photo of his proof that God doesn’t exist-sided dick on Twitter, Snapchat, Slack, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and what’s that site where sad white fucks who lash out because no one will touch their dicks hang out? Oh, right, Breitbart. My point is you gotta cut that thing off at the head. Or do the gun stuff. I sent you diagrams and everything.

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Photo: AKM-GSI