Sean Penn is a cartoon character

Sean Penn planned a personal rescue of Katrina victims over the weekend but forgot to plug a hole in the bottom of his boat. The vessel began to take on water within seconds of its launch, forcing Penn to frantically bail water out with a red plastic cup. Additionally, the boat’s motor failed to start and those aboard were forced to use paddles.

With the boat loaded with members of Penn’s entourage, including a personal photographer, one bystander taunted the actor: “How are you going to get any people in that thing?”

I wish I was making this shit up, but horrible tragedies have a way of bringing out the ridiculous in celebrities. When you literally have hundreds of millions of dollars at your disposal, setting out on a paddle boat with your personal photorapher probably isn’t the best way you can help. Maybe he’s challenging Mariah Carey for the title of Sluttiest Most Unhelpful Celebrity Ever.

Thanks to the strikingly handsome Donald for the tip.