Sean Connery beats up women

May 2nd, 2006 // 64 Comments

sconnery-beat-wife.jpgSean Connery’s ex-wife has written an autobiography, and in it makes claims that Connery used to beat her.

According to an interview in the London Times, Cilento writes that in 1965, after she danced with a wedding party at a hotel in Spain where the couple was staying, she returned to her room and felt a blow to the face and Connery knocked her to the floor.


  1. amandapants

    i’d let james bond beat the hell out of me.


  2. Grphdesi23

    Does he still like his martinis shaken, not stirred?

    That’s what I want to know.

  3. BadassFred


    I was so fricking close to being first.

  4. junebug

    I would too. hahaha

  5. the_doctor

    ooh, domestic violence is so sexy. oh, i guess except when it’s OJ.

  6. Too much of his original fan base has died off for anyone to care.

    The rest of us? Let’s just call him the Tommy Lee of his time.

  7. Italian Stallion

    Italian Stallion beats his meat not women……

  8. Jayvee

    Damn you Jolie, I was watching that frickin’ video of her in Namibia.

    Anyway, I bet his ex-wife feels a bit shaken and stirred after all this.

  9. sweetcheeks

    Sean Connery has WICKED bad breath. I met him at a fundraiser several years ago and it nearly melted the plastic cup I was holding. It was almost like getting smacked in the face. But worse.

  10. sweetcheeks

    It was a fundraiser for victims of domestic abuse.

  11. BarbadoSlim

    Of course his comments were taken out of context. Look people, we all know he’s always hangin’ out with junkies. They want smack so he gives it to them, nothing wrong with that, he’s a giver, that’s how he rolls.

  12. ieatthepoo

    Sean Connery was a dragon, he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

  13. Akapee

    #9 that is the funniest comment I’ve read all day. Did you offer him a mint? lol

  14. radio4play

    Oh the humanity, almost first

    I’d hit it
    there I said it..i’d hit his scottish ass all thw way back to Scotland to eat some Haggis…yum yum

    remember tcltc

  15. 7 out of 10 women are battered. I prefer mine fried.

  16. sweetcheeks

    Okay, so it wasn’t really for victims of domestic abuse… it would have been ironic, no?

    They should start a new fund-raising campaign for victims of Sean Connery’s stink-breath. The worst part was, you weren’t expecting it, so you’re up really close (’cause he’s famous, and you instinctively want to get close) and POW there it is, powerful and stinky, and you can’t escape. GOD that man loves to talk.

  17. Lynette Carrington

    I think the only thing Sir Sean should be hitting is the golf course.

  18. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    It’s the new Chappelle:
    “I’m James BOND, bitch!”

  19. BarbadoSlim

    You expect me to talk? No Mr. Bond, I expect you to floss!!!!

  20. pinky_nip

    I’d like a smack on my ass.

  21. IwearBananahammocks

    Bond, James Bond. Bitch where’s my martini? Oh, hell no. I know you didn’t stir it instead of shaking it. I will shake you. I will ram it up your arse.

  22. Land-Man

    Sweetcheeks, could you possibly milk that moment any more? We’re all very impressed you met Sean Connery while on your garbage-man route.

  23. PapaHotNuts

    You know the first thing a woman does when she gets out the battered women’s shelter?

    The mother fuckin’ dishes if she knows what’s good for her.

  24. Lou

    I would let Sean beat me back in his prime as long as he promised to talk dirty and give to me real hard afterwards. Crap, now I have to be turned on at work thinking about it.

  25. Sodomy_is_for_Girls

    Yeah, I went to this place the other day, it was called “Tempura House” I thought the food would be really good, then I found out it was a shelter for lightly battered women.

  26. Iambananas

    I used to like him, but now I’ve heard he says all this stuff… it’s kind of hard to imagine he beats woman up, but not that I’m sure he does, I think he is really an idiot, James Bond or not.

  27. bunnyhugger

    damn, what is it with this man! i’d do him in a new york minute, and i don’t even know what that expression means!! worst of it all, he’s the same age as my father!

    used to feel that way about harrison ford until he hooked up with that ali mc beal goblin. dear lord, did she suck the life out of him, or what??

    i remember those interviews, and interpretd (sp) them as being somewhat tongue in cheek.

    shit, i still don’t care. if hubby says ok, i’m up for a little connery-smackin’!

    but of course i don’t condone violence. OW! WTF was that for???????

  28. bjpack


  29. BarbadoSlim

    #24 That comment was strangely arousing until I realized your name is Lou.

  30. Iambananas

    #9… you actually just made me laugh out loud and my brother asked me what was so funny, and now he’s on the floor laughing… you’re awesome.

  31. Mugato

    Well a man has to relax.

  32. Iambananas

    #28… umm, that’s therapists

  33. sweetcheeks

    Another cock-free LandMan post. You are playing right into my hands! All too easy. Perhaps you are not as powerful as the Emporer thought.

  34. Iambananas

    #29, ha ha ha he he he

  35. Iambananas

    sweetcheeks? Huh?

    Should have stopped while you were ahead.


    who cares

  37. pinky_nip

    lameassbananas: you are a complete idiot. Why don’t you and your brother roll around the floor together. Your posts are making me want to punch babies in the face.

  38. Italian Stallion

    #23 good to see your still alive, I thought the male prostitute was to much for you to handle and I felt bad for sending him to your room……..Now I don’t feel as bad…..

  39. CruisingForCock

    #23 Papa, I swear I did all my chores while you were gone. But don’t let that stop you from giving me the beating I deserve.

  40. sweetcheeks

    bananas — my goal was to rid this thread of Land-cock and Land-balls, so by attacking me he has succumbed to my subversive manipulation. Kinda like a Jedi mind trick. Hence the Star Wars reference.

    I hate LandMan and all of his compensatory gential references.

  41. Lou

    # 29 My name is Lou but I am a woman so you can keep thinking dirty thoughts:)

  42. BigJim

    Sorry, nothing funny to write here. Beating up women is highly uncool.

    Unless said woman is Paris Hilton, cuz I hate that whore.

  43. Land-Man

    Nothing funny for BigJim to write? What else is new?

  44. BigJim

    I can’t even condone beating up Land-bitch, because I don’t think it’s nice to hurt mentally retarded people.

    It doesn’t matter anyway, because the Darwin Award folks will be knocking on his door any day now.

  45. tsarinaamanda

    What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing, you already told her twice.

    More wife beating jokes to come, if I can think of any more. You’ve been a great audience, I’ll be here all week!

  46. Land-Man

    Remind me to leave for a week.

  47. BigJim

    Consider yourself reminded, but why not a year?

  48. Fisher55

    #41 your first comment was strangely arousing until I realized your name is Lou and you’re not really a guy

  49. HairPie

    Hitting chicks ain’t cool. Watching James Bond hit chicks is cool. Killing people ain’t cool. Watching James Bond kill people is cool. Getting anal from scotsman ain’t cool. Getting anal from James Bond is…wait a minute…

  50. Fisher55

    Sean Connery totally looks like a wife-beater. And if had a wife-beater on, forget it…

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