For those of you blissfully detached from the Internet all weekend, hip hop/R&B singer Kisean Anderson, a.k.a. Sean Kingston, was practically, and possibly was (It’s that bad), killed on Sunday after crashing his jet ski into a bridge in Miami. He also had a female passenger with him who somehow survived unharmed, but obviously didn’t have sex with him afterward officially making this the worst jet ski ride of Sean Kingston’s life. TMZ reports:
Alcohol was NOT a factor in the jet ski accident that left Sean Kingston in critical condition … this according to a report released by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
The report describes the accident by saying, “Anderson was operating a PWC [personal watercraft] with a female passenger westbound along McArthur Cswy towards the Palm Ave bridge. Anderson struck the bridge and was transported to Ryder Trauma Center in critical condition.”
I think my favorite part of this story, and I should be allowed to have one, is the police driving boats out to the bridge Sean Kingston crashed into as if they’re just going to take it downtown and start questioning it. “Alright, ese, you gonna tell me why you got beef with Sean Kingston, or we gonna do things… *grabs bridge by the abutment* ‘my way.’ One week ’til retirement, homes, but don’t think some measly pension is gonna stop me from bustin’ you in the cabeza. ‘Beautiful Girls’ was my song, ese! It touched me. Touch me right here. *taps heart* So, now? Now, we get loco…”