Screech gets mugged by a girl

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Dustin Diamond says he got into a fight with a fan on Monday in his Omaha, Nebraska hotel room which resulted in her trying to mug him.

“I wake up and go to the bathroom and all of a sudden I hear this pound-pound-pound at the door,” Diamond told E! Online in a phone interview Thursday. “I look out and see this girl with her hair hung down and I didn’t put it together right away that it’s the girl at the club. This girl was behind me and our conversation must have given her the idea, I guess, to try and rob me. And [around 3 a.m.] she’s at the door screaming, ‘Come on, Screech, my phone’s in there.’ And clearly just being a comedian, I’m like, ‘Yeah yeah where is it?’ ” She kept pounding and that’s when Diamond says he called hotel security to have her escorted her out of the building. About 45 minutes later, Diamond said he was opening his door to go downstairs to catch a ride for a 5:15 a.m. flight when he heard a “boom.” “Somehow she got back in and is now holding a can of Mace up,” he recounted. “I’m freaked out and jump back and she says, ‘Where’s the money, come on, tell me where it is, and she’s trying to look through my bags.’ ” Diamond managed to call 911 and the hotel security. He said he tried to “give her a house shirt to make her go away,” referring to the T-shirts he’s been hawking to save his Wisconsin home. Then, he said, “she grabs my PlayStation Portable games, said, “This will have to do,” and goes running out the door. “I’m a big gamer and you don’t mess with the D-man’s videogames,” he said. Diamond, an alum of Celebrity Boxing 2, said he tried to stop her but she yelled, “Rape!” and “Help me! I’m thinking great, this is all I need,” Diamond said. The actor said he managed to recover his games as police arrived. He and the woman both gave statements to police; he was allowed to leave to catch his flight.

Why would anybody want to mug Dustin Diamond? That’d be like mugging the homeless guy who sleeps on your lawn. If you’re going to mug somebody at least set your sights a little higher. Maybe somebody with money? Although if there’s anybody you’d think would be easy to steal from it’d be Screech. On the scale of people capable of defending themselves he’s right up there with ‘blind guy with no arms.’ Or Gary Coleman.