Scott Disick Is In Rehab Again

rock bottom
noun
1. the very lowest level:
When he thought it was Kourtney, but he was actually groping Satan’s tit, he hit rock bottom.

Because being a man in a Kardashian woman’s life is just pure, unadulterated awesome, Scott Disick checked his ass back into rehab the second he heard Lamar Odom OD’d at a hooker ranch on organic boner pills and crank. I mean what was he supposed to do? He doesn’t have the money for a classy death like that. Via TMZ:

We’re told Disick took the leap because of his kids — he’s gunning for unsupervised visits. He’s told friends Kourtney Kardashian won’t let him have unsupervised visitation until she knows he’s clean.

In all seriousness I really hope for the kids’ sake he gets his shit together. It would be a shame for them to grow up in an otherwise completely loving, supportive family that absolutely was not waiting to turn them into fame-whoring monsters. Without a strong father figure like Scott in the picture they might end up making sex tapes, dating guys who rap about fucking them underage, putting their genitals all over the Internet, being assholes to waiters, locking themselves in Khloe’s basement and eating themselves to death, capturing the souls of E! Network executives in a ghostwood box that can only be cracked opened with a mad stone made of Caitlyn Jenner’s petrified testicles…

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