Sign This NDA So Scott Disick Can Cry Into Your Vagina, It’ll Be Fun

“Wait. Did I make a Chris Brown video? Goddammit.”

When we last left Scott Disick he was getting his ass served by Carlton after asking for half a mil to do Dancing With The Stars. And now comes word that he’s bringing girls to his villa in Mexico and making them sign NDAs before taking them on a sexual adventure of a lifetime. And by sexual adventure I mean crying. Lots and lots of crying. Page Six reports:

Disick, 32, has brought women back, but they’re asked on arrival to sign NDAs and check smartphones at the door in baggies so no surreptitious selfies can be snapped.
But once Disick gets the girls back to his party palace, “All he talks about is the custody” situation with his kids, a source said. “He’s Mr. Doom and Gloom.”

In fairness, I’m a crier, too, when it comes to being with a naked woman and the full, crushing reality that she actually expects me to know what I’m doing. So if you happen to be near Kourtney Kardashian, maybe let her know that. And that I have the looks of a serial killer if not at least the thoughts. She’d be amazed at the people whose deaths I’ve painstakingly visualized over such trivial offenses as turning left when I’m trying to go straight, or asking a screaming toddler his opinion on shoes at Target while I’m just trying to buy some goddamn light bulbs. It’s breathtaking really.

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Photo: AKM-GSI